|
Friday, November 30, 2001
|
Eh, I have nothing to say right now. Life is uninteresting. Perhaps I will have stories after the weekend. In fact, I'm sure I'll have stories because there is lots going on! So....check back sometime Monday to see what fun I had in Ithaca this time....
- Lizzardie, at 10:08 AM
|
Thursday, November 29, 2001
|
Okay, so my car wasn't going to go to Ithaca this weekend, but yeah, now it is. What can I say? Sarah is coming with, so there is that. I feel bad because she got into the accident and it wasn't her fault and she wouldn't be able to go otherwise and well, you know....I was getting excited about going and everything, even though I said I wasn't going to go after Thanksgiving, blah blah blah. I'm a sucker.
I'm getting tired of my self-induced project. I came up with some graphs that tell me, um, nothing. That's the thing with employment figures - there's no predicting them, so they're all over the place. What's the point? Industries tell me nothing either, other than that, surprise, surprise, the cities high in manufacturing and finance have been in decline the most recently. Couldn't have predicted that one, now, could we. There's more work, but I think I may just put it off until tomorrow.
- Lizzardie, at 3:05 PM
|
Wednesday, November 28, 2001
|
Turns out that my brakes just needed to be cleaned and readjusted. This is good news, of course, though I wasn't too worried, because whatever was wrong with the car I knew I wouldn't have to pay for. I love warranties! There is apparently nothing else wrong with my car - that it wouldn't turn over was apparently a fluke, I guess. As long as it doesn't happen again, or regularly, or that it doesn't start all....whatever. Can I just say that I like the people at Hyundai much better than I like the people at the place I took my car to be fixed after the accident? It took a month to fix my car, and I never got update calls - I always had to call them. Fixing my brakes took half a day, and I've gotten 2 (yes, two) calls to tell me about my car today. Such better service.
My pending trip to Ithaca this weekend may be cancelled, I think, I don't know. Sarah isn't here today, and I thought she might be sick, but it turns out she got into a car accident last night. She wasn't hurt, thankfully (no one else was, either), but there was significant damage to the car, I guess. I don't see her being able to drive up there this weekend. Tomorrow (if she's here) I'm going to offer to drive to Ithaca myself if she can't. If she doesn't want to go after all this, I'm not going to either. But I would be willing to drive if she comes with. We'll see, I guess.
I've kinda initiated a project here at work. At first it was interesting - we've been doing these weird employment in urban areas charts and I'm trying to consolidate into industries. That is, taking the cities with the highest percent of mining workers, manufacturing, services, financial, government, etc...There are 8 categories and then a ninth one that I created - Mixed, I like to call it, because none of the cities into it have significant percentages in any of the other categories. Anyways, I have 81 cities and it's taking forever. It was interesting yesterday, now it's become so tedious! ARGH! I think I may stop working on it and pick it up tomorrow. I have to leave in about an hour anyway to pick up my car.
- Lizzardie, at 2:40 PM
|
Tuesday, November 27, 2001
|
Well....I brought the entire set of Harry Potter books out to my car just now. I've decided that I'm completely Harry Potter-ed out - no more reading them at work - since I've started here, I've reread all 4 books TWICE. And there was the movie. I'm definitely done with it all for now. My new project (ha - this is what I'm calling projects now - think I can put that on my resume?) is to read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. We'll see how that goes. I've got other books if that doesn't work out, don't you worry.
I'm taking my car in tomorrow to have it looked at. I found out that if I want them to do anything to my seemingly weak brakes I need to have them look at it before I hit 12,000 miles and, well, with the amount of driving I do.... The nice people at the Hyundai dealership in Norwalk are going to take me to the train station so I can get to work (and then hopefully pick me up there that evening!). I'm praying that ONCE AGAIN I'll have a car in perfect working order. This whole owning a car thing is much more trouble than I anticipated. And I've only made 3 payments on it!!!!
It looks like I will once again be in Ithaca this coming weekend. And I had resolved not to go there again until January. *sigh* It's not that I mind, of course - I was just trying to show myself (and everyone else) that I could do it. BUT, this weekend, I was actually INVITED (normally I invite myself). Amy is having some sort of dessert party Saturday night that she would like me to attend and has graciously offered me her couch. PLUS (and this is the biggie) Sarah is going up there this weekend and has offered to give me a ride. Yes, that's right - I will not be driving my car up there. In fact, if it turns out that Sarah can't take me, I'm not going to go. All of the stars seem to be aligning in the direction of me spending more quality time with my overly stressed friends. I apologize for taking up more of their time, but hey, they love me, right? =) So...one of two things look to happen. Sarah may be bringing another friend of hers with who lives in Hartford - we would then go and drop my car off at my place in Shelton before picking up her friend and driving to Ithaca Friday night. This would mean no extra driving for Liz!!! OR (more probable, Sarah tells me), her friend won't go, we'll drive to her place in New Jersey, leave my car there and then head to Ithaca. That way, on Sunday, Sarah would be able to just drive home and I could drive back to Connecticut from there. This would mean about 70 miles of extra driving for me, but hey, that's much better than 500+, right? I think so. We'll see how it pans out. I've realized, though, that I have about a million things I need to do before I move back to Ithaca, most of which really need to be done before I go home to Chicago for Christmas. I forgot all of the necessary steps I need to take when moving - changing about a million addresses for one, financial aid, bills, and on and on and on... For the first time in the last several months, I actually feel like I don't have enough time. How strange is that?
- Lizzardie, at 12:24 PM
|
Monday, November 26, 2001
|
I hate being in a place where I don't know anyone well enough to ask them for a favor. ARGH. I need to take my car in so that it can be looked at (brakes seem really loose and it was having trouble turning over the other day - not good for a car that's only 3 months old with 10,000 miles on it) but I don't know how I'm going to manage that. The Hyundai dealership in Norwalk is only open from 8am to 5pm Monday thru Friday and I work from 8:30am to 5:00pm Monday thru Friday. I could take it in at 8:00am someday, but it remains to be seen how I'm going to get to work from there. So frustrating. I guess I'll call around to see if there's someplace open on a Saturday, because that might be helpful to me. I doubt they'll give me a loaner car, though - the whole age thing. And I might not be able to this weekend because I might be going to Ithaca (though not driving - I will not drive up there this weekend, but if Sarah's going, I'm more than happy to go along for the ride so I can go to Amy's party).
Anyways, Thanksgiving was good. I went to Albany and spent it with Jaclyn and her family. We also did lots of shopping and hanging out with her friends, mainly the Kramerson girls. It was good times. The worst part about it was that I was sick on Friday night and of course, that my car was having trouble turning over on Friday. The sickness wasn't cool. It started with a bad headache Friday evening, which I attributed to caffeine withdrawal, since I didn't have any coffee that morning. But then I got really nauseous and that I really can't blame on the caffeine. I should really cut back on the coffee. I've only been drinking it for about 2 months, though - I don't see why the addiction has set in so soon. It didn't over the summer, when I was drinking it for those 6 weeks of accounting. It's a funny drug, that caffeine. It doesn't even keep me up - I don't know why I bother drinking it (now it's to avoid the pangs of withdrawal, I guess).
So....shopping was good. I saw this coat I really liked at H&M - long wool coat, gray, with silver pinstripes. It was really hot and very Liz, but $100 was more than I was willing to spend on a coat that I don't really need. In fact, I couldn't really afford to spend $100, period. So what did I do? I bought 3 shirts, a necklace and 2 books which amounted to more than $100. I'm an impulse shopper, what can I say? I think it's a disease. At least the things I got were cute. One shirt is red and says "Boy Scouting" in sparkly white letters - Jaclyn got one too, so we have matching shirts to go partying in. The second is another going out shirt - it's black, with a keyhole thing in the front, and a really low-cut back. The best part? To kinda cover up the back it has 4 strands of cream-colored pearls - they're removable, but I think it looks best with the pearls - they're the whole reason I bought it! The necklace is to go with that shirt - it's a shadow necklace, with sporadic pearls of the same color on it. Very nice. And the last shirt is a gray turtleneck sweater from J.Crew that I couldn't pass up for $30, esp. since I haven't bought a sweater all season. And I didn't get any Christmas shopping done, either. I'm awful. What do you think? Cornellwear or gift certificates for the whole family? I'm sure they'll all appreciate that!
- Lizzardie, at 10:11 AM
|
Wednesday, November 21, 2001
|
I never updated yesterday, which goes to show you how little I have to say. Nothing new has happened, really. I'm leaving for Albany straight after work today (3:45pm!!!!) to spend Thanksgiving with Jaclyn and her family. I assume that in addition to dinner, there will be some malling (Crossgates, anyone?) and some time spent hanging out with Jaclyn's friends (who are all very nice people). I'm hoping that I'll be able to contribute something to the preparation of dinner tomorrow as my way of thanking the Wests for having me there. I make a pretty good cranberry sauce and a delicious candied yam dish (notice that my specialties are the sweet things!). We'll see how it goes.
Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels to all of my wonderful friends!!!!
- Lizzardie, at 9:00 AM
|
Monday, November 19, 2001
|
I am such an idiot. I mentioned I got a speeding ticket en route to St. Louis, right? Well, I spent all last week meaning to send the thing in. The plan was to plead not guilty and I really should have sent it in right away, but I kept forgetting to bring an envelope with me to work, and I never get anything done back at my place. SO...I FINALLY bring an envelope to work on Friday, planning to send it in that day. But I couldn't find the ticket. It wasn't in my purse, so I figured it must have fallen out back at the house. So I get home Friday and can't find it there either. I spend a large part of Saturday cleaning but still couldn't find it. Well, I tell myself, it must be at work, you just misplaced it somehow (I do stuff like that all the time). Inwardly, I'm panicking, though. I get to work this morning and it's nowhere to be seen. It's supposed to be back to the court by Wednesday, mind you. I decide I need to make some phone calls to clear up this problem, because I'm never going to find this ticket. So...about 5 phone numbers and 20 minutes later, I have what I need to do. I just have to send a letter to a justice in the Town of Hinsdale and tell them my plea. They also told me that if I plead guilty and pay by the date I'm told to, the points won't go to my state. This is very good news, as I can't afford for those points to go to Illinois and raise my insurance, but getting to court would be a pain in the ass (they told me I'd end up with a December court date). So I write out the letter, print it out, sign it and grab the envelope that's been in my purse for 4 days, waiting to be sent with the missing ticket. I open up the envelope, and lo and behold, the ticket is in there! Apparently I had stuck the ticket in there so I wouldn't lose it. I'm a winner, aren't I? At least I was saved from a non-guilty pleading and an inconvenient court appearance.
The only other news is that I've been meaning to mention that putting up the Convention pictures seemed to encourage people to visit my webpage. I find this a bit odd and kind of ironic. It's ironic because I was hesitant about putting the pictures up because I thought people might view it as a publicity stunt of some sort. To correct that problem, I made sure that there were no links to the Convention pictures from my main page, and that there were no links to my main page from the Convention pictures. Still, people went to my page anyways, and actually signed my guestbook! Yay! I guess I shouldn't complain, I just wanted to let it be known that I wasn't trying to persuade people to go to my page by putting those pictures up! Really!
- Lizzardie, at 10:10 AM
|
Sunday, November 18, 2001
|
Hmm, I was supposed to give the Harry Potter review yesterday. Ahh, well, I'm doing it now, better late than never. So, I thought that the plot was very very choppy at the beginning. I'm not sure, because I've read the books so many time, but I think that if you don't know the story you might be confused at the beginning. But it came together at the end. The graphics were really cool, though there were some things that I didn't like. I didn't like the way the inside of Hogwarts was portrayed (minus the Great Hall). I also didn't like the way Snape was portrayed. Jaclyn thinks he's hot and I definitely don't think that Snape should be considered hot. The Quidditch field was awesome, though, as was Wizard Chess, both small size and large size (though I heard there was a wrong move by a bishop - my chess experience is very limited, though, so I can't confirm this). Overall, the movie was good, but it definitely stole some of the magic from the book. I liked the way I had imagined some things better than the way they were portrayed. That's always the case, though.
So, this weekend I've just chilled. I got lots of sleep, which was good. =) I also got all my laundry done, which was really good, considering I had no clean clothes. There was some cleaning as well, both of my room and of my car (still haven't cleaned up those damnable feathers, though...). Today I went to the mall and bought picture frames, which was exciting. For some reason, I've always just thrown my pictures on the walls and have never invested in frames. So...I bought a collage frame, which holds four pictures - there's a picture of me and Jaclyn, one of me and Amy, one from the Halloween mixer and a PSP Slope Day picture. I also bought a purple frame, which currently holds a picture from Convention. The frames are sitting on top of my mirror, right near a Cornell banner, so it makes my room look a little more homey, which is nice. I also found a framed picture of Rachel and me, which I think is safe to bring out of hiding. I need to buy more frames, though - and take more pictures. My friends from home better beware - I'll be getting pictures of all I see when I'm home for Christmas! I also need a newer picture of Jaclyn, since we haven't taken one in awhile. Hmm...I've gone camera-happy - this might not be good...
- Lizzardie, at 9:22 PM
|
Saturday, November 17, 2001
|
I went to the movies tonight. BY MYSELF. I just wanted you all to know that. I actually went to see Harry Potter, and I'll give you my review, but not until tomorrow. I'm too tired to write anymore tonight....
- Lizzardie, at 12:03 AM
|
Friday, November 16, 2001
|
*sigh* It's depressing to think that it's Friday and that I won't be in Ithaca tonight. Oh well. It was my choice, right? And just think of the things I'm going to do this weekend: sleep, laundry, sleep, clean my room, sleep, New Haven, sleep, mall, sleep, projects, sleep.... you get the idea. I don't remember the last time I slept in both Saturday and Sunday (or either one, really) - it was before all this Ithaca madness, that's for sure. I feel a bit bad, because when I told people I wasn't going to come, they all sounded kinda disappointed. But seriously people - you've seen me more this semester than you anticipated, right? I've spoiled you all, I swear. I may be changing my mind about coming up between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I've decided that if there's a weekend where there's a lot of stuff going on, then I'll come up. That's because I'll just go to all the stuff and hang out with people there and I won't feel guilty about people entertaining me because there will be all sorts of partying and entertainment. So we'll see. I'm not making any promises....
Ohh, so I'm almost out of space on my website. It's kinda sad, really, because I'm not sure what to do now. I want to put up all sorts of pictures, but I had to take all the old ones down in order to put up the Convention pictures. Eventually the Convention pictures will come down (most of them anyways) but until that time.... I think I'm going to look into hosting a few pages elsewhere, that way I can utilize my space a little better. We'll see how that goes....
Busy day of, um, NOTHING at work today. A nap sounds really good right about now. I didn't get to bed, really, until about 11:30 last night because my phone rang and then someone IMed me, right when I was about to climb into bed and settle in for the weekend. Why does that happen? Ahh, well, at least I know I'm loved.
Speaking of which, can I just say that I have great friends? I swear, everyone has been there for me more than I could have ever expected you to be this semester and I totally appreciate that. Times were hard for awhile there, but they're looking up! You know how I can tell when I'm happy with my life? When I listen to the radio and I can't connect with the songs. That may seem strange, but here me out. It's very hard, I think, to write songs with happy themes, but very easy to write ones with sad ones. This may be because writing helps ease the pain, I don't know, I don't consider myself a writer. So, most songs you hear have a twinge of sadness to them. When I'm sad and depressed, I see myself in almost every song I hear. BUT, when I content and happy, I don't really feel anything when I hear the lyrics - I concentrate more on the sound of the song (rhythm, instrumentation, etc....). So that's where I am right now - just enjoying the music in my ears. =) Anyways, as I was saying about my friends, you've all really surprised me this semester. I realized that I have a tendency to be judgmental sometimes. I get caught in the cycle where I feel I can predict your behavior by things I've observed and picked up on, even if those things have nothing to do with the issues at hand. But instead of living up to my worst expectations, everyone has come through for me and proven to me that there are good things, good people on this earth. Thanks for reinforcing my belief that there's good in everyone, thanks for not letting me down.
All right, I'm done being mushy. I'm off to do one of three things right now: find more server space, read Harry Potter or sleep. Ohh, what fun it is when your supervisor is out of town and leaves you very little work to do....
- Lizzardie, at 9:36 AM
|
Thursday, November 15, 2001
|
Hmm, okay, so I didn't get a good night's sleep last night. It might have been because I just wasn't really tired. After all, I was coming off of 2 good nights of sleep and some nice REM sleep at work yesterday (which occurred I think because my supervisor is on vacation and I'm therefore not concerned about being caught - I had a dream where I was kicked out of the place I'm living for no apparent reason - and Vinny, I'm telling you, I've always heard that your dreams WON'T come true if you tell them). Or, it could have been that I was too excited to see how many people would look at the new pages I put up. Whatever - I'll probably sleep better tonight. I will tell you now why I think I slept so well those first 2 nights. I switched pillows. I realized that in Connecticut I've been using these really hard, dense pillows while when I go away for the weekend I bring my nice, soft feather pillows. AND, the last time I was away and used someone else's pillow that was really dense, I didn't sleep well then (or at all). So, I switched to my feather pillows and lo and behold, I started sleeping better. Why didn't I think of this sooner? Of course, this means I am now in a constant state of being covered in down feathers, but whatever.
So, I took the pictures I got developed from National Convention and set up a website with them on it yesterday. I really wanted to do this so that the brothers in my chapter could see them, since I took most of the pictures and I'm currently in Connecticut. Some of you know that I like to stalk I mean track the people that visit my webpage, so I put the tracker on these pages as well, just to see if it was actually worth my time. Within an hour of me emailing the listserve about the page, close to half of the chapter had visited the page. By this morning, it was more like three-quarters. WOW! It's amazing how good I feel because of that - that I did something and people took time out of their lives to see it. And I got thank-you's for it, too! I wish I could do more things like this - things that are done just because I want to put a smile on people's faces. Those are the things that make my life worthwhile - simple things that I'm happy to do that make other people happy, too. Why can't there be more times like this when I'm smiling over something so small?
I've decided that I'm doing too much driving. I almost hit another car today because I wasn't paying attention. Not good. I've pretty much decided that I'm going to stay put in Connecticut this weekend. I really want to go to Ithaca and I really want to visit my aunt, but the idea of spending the time in my car makes me sick to my stomach right now. It's amazing, because I've been saying the trip is worth it to see my friends every weekend, but this weekend, it's really not. I think I'm going to stick around, clean my room, work on some projects I've been meaning to get to, possibly go up to New Haven just because I want to check it out while the weather is still kinda mild. I also have to do lots of laundry. I haven't had a weekend in Connecticut since mid-September (2 months ago, yikes!) and besides, I'm going to Albany on Wednesday and I just got back from Ithaca/St. Louis on Monday. I just kinda feel a bit down about it, because this weekend is my last opportunity to go, really, as I don't want to bother people during finals. *sigh* - that's okay. I might as well give my friends a chance to miss me. =)
- Lizzardie, at 10:32 AM
|
Wednesday, November 14, 2001
|
Hmmm, so I'm updating, as I try to do every morning, but I really don't have much to say. If you look back at the history of my blog, you'll see that I update a lot when I'm kinda (or more than kinda) depressed, and I'll put in an update if something really really exciting happens. But when I'm just content, there's not a whole lot to write about. It's nice to be feeling good again, though, that's for sure. The past couple of months have been pretty hard on me and I'm glad to have them behind me. It's not like much has changed, which is the really odd thing. AND, you'd think I'd be sad, because the times of me visiting Ithaca every weekend are over (with the possible exception of this weekend). There are some differences, though. I finally said the things that were bothering me to the people I needed to say them to. It's always really hard for me to do that, because in the past there have always been really bad consequences to doing so. It must be testimony to me having much closer, more mature friends that they were able to not only apologize to me for doing things that upset me, but also to forgive me for handling a few things in a not-so-mature way. We all make mistakes, but sometimes I have trouble admitting that I do. Thanks to my wonderful friends for making that a little easier for me. =)
I think I'm still benefiting from the awesome time I had at the PSP Convention. It's great to look back at how much fun it was and how much I learned. I really enjoyed bonding with my brothers (both from my chapter and from around the country). I'm already looking forward to going back next year. I don't even know what exactly will be going on at this time next year (I'll be a senior, though - yikes!) but I'm not going to miss going for the world. And as I said before, Pittsburgh is so much closer than St. Louis!
There's something funny about the whole not going to Ithaca anymore thing. It doesn't bother me, really, and I can't really figure out why, because I think it should. Maybe it's because I don't feel I have to go anymore - I don't need the reassurance of seeing my friends all the time to know that they're still my friends. Maybe it's because I've resolved all of my conflicts. Maybe it's because I want to actually give everyone a chance to miss me. Maybe it's because the next 2 months don't really seem so long. A week from today, I'll be driving to Albany to stay with Jaclyn's family for Thanksgiving. Then, there are only 4 weeks until Christmas, at which time I'll be going home (and I'm really looking forward to being in Chicago for a week - maybe I'll actually try and go downtown!). Then there are only 2 weeks until I'm back in Ithaca (yay!). I don't know, but my life seems pretty good right now, which is just amazing to me, considering how low I was feeling just a few short weeks ago.
Briefly, in other news: I slept well again last night (yay!). I didn't get up to check my email once, which is testimony of even though I know I woke up once, it was very very brief. If I sleep well again tonight, I'll explain here my theory on why I'm sleeping well again. Also, I get to pick up Convention pictures today around noon! I love being able to get pictures developed at work! =)
- Lizzardie, at 8:42 AM
|
Tuesday, November 13, 2001
|
I've been meaning to update all day, but other things kept demanding my attention, such as the 3 hour staff meeting (my presentation is over and I don't have to worry about getting a grade back - can't beat that!) and finding a new tracker since mine decided to charge without telling me and just cancelled my account. Everything has slowed down a bit, so now I will fill you all in on the last 5 days (I can't believe it was that long ago, yet the weekend seemed so, so long at the time) of my life.
So....National Convention....it absolutely ROCKED. I had such a great time and I'm so glad that I decided to go. Not only was it fun to meet people from other chapters and to learn what they're doing, it was a great chance to bond with the brothers from our chapter that went. I was trying to describe some of the highlights of the trip to Vinny, and they just didn't seem as funny when I was telling her, since she wasn't there - I suppose there are some things about the trip that will only be meaningful to those who went. We won awards, too!!!! We won Most Able to Overcome Adversity and Most Improved Old Chapter (which is a huge award). I think the trip overall was a great morale booster and it made me want to do great things in our chapter. The 17 hour hike (and speeding ticket =/) our to St. Louis was totally worth it - and next year's Convention is in Pittsburgh, which is so much closer! Other highlights included:
- Wine bottles opened (and broken) with keys, along with an adventure to find whipped cream for apple pie shots.
- The giant cross in the middle of nowhere (i.e., Effingham, IL) - the real kicker was that there wasn't a church in site!
- The brothers all found out my true identity - a sugar-crazed bird.
- Mercedes, the Mu chapter's mascot - a big inflatable COW.
Those are the good highlights that I can think of right now. They probably mean nothing to you if you didn't go on the trip, but they are certainly great memories!
My weekend was mostly Convention-centered. I'm sad that it's over, but I look forward to great things from Phi Sigma Pi in the future! Yay!
The only other bit of news is that I think that I might have figured out why I'm having so much trouble sleeping - pillows. The pillows that I've been using in Connecticut are kinda hard, but when I go on visits I always bring my feather pillows and have no trouble sleeping. So...last night I used my feather pillows and lo and behold, I only woke up once and it was very very brief. YAY!!!! So, I'm going to make sure I'm always using the feather pillows, and hopefully I will be sleeping easy from now on. =)
- Lizzardie, at 2:22 PM
|
Thursday, November 08, 2001
|
I think I'm feeling like re-writing that earlier post now....
So, as I tried to say before (but none of you know that) I hate impatient drivers. I'm not the most patient of drivers (because you end up at a standstill if you're patient to a fault) but seriously, what's the ultimate cost of a few seconds? I was driving to work this morning, and I was at the intersection where I get off of I-95 and Canal St. in Stamford. I'm driving along, as my lane was clear, when this idiot SUV decides that because its lane isn't moving, it should change lanes - right on top of me! I had to swerve so that the damn thing didn't sideswipe me (and it was lucky that there were no cars in the lane next to me!)! Then, to make matters worse, the SUV ends up behind me and starts honking at me because I'm not driving in a way that would let it go faster (I decided to stay back from the intersection when where I was going was backed up - I hate sitting in the intersection). The SUV driver is damn lucky I didn't get road rage from its numerous stupid moves. I thought drivers in Chicago were bad, but Connecticut drivers are ridiculous!
So...I only woke up once last night, which is good for me. Unfortunately, due to that one wake up, I was tossing and turning for 2 hours, so it didn't really help. Argh. All I ask for is a good night's sleep. I'm doing my part by going to bed early - my body should do its part and stay asleep. Hopefully I'll get more sleep tonight so that I can be nice and rested for the drive to St. Louis tomorrow. And hopefully I'll be alert enough to drive to Ithaca tonight (though I can practically do that drive in my sleep now anyway).
- Lizzardie, at 12:18 PM
|
|
I just had a whole post here, and then made a stupid mouse mistake and lost it all. I don't feel like writing it all out again right now. Maybe later.
- Lizzardie, at 9:36 AM
|
Wednesday, November 07, 2001
|
Perhaps the whole Connecticut experience would be better if I was enjoying where I was living. But, no, not only do I hate my job, I hate where I have to go every night after work, too. It's not that it's so bad - the house is nice, the other people who live there are nice enough as well, and I feel safe. All of these are very important. BUT, I feel like the rules keep changing. When I first called on the place, I was told that there were only 2 rules: no guests and no shoes in the house. Simple enough, right? So I thought. I was told I would be able to do laundry there, park there, use the kitchen, etc.... It had all the amenities I was looking for, at a reasonable price (which is hard to find in CT), which is why I didn't mind having to drive so far. So, I get there, and now there are 3 rules: no guests, no shoes and no smoking. Well, okay, I'm not a smoker, so that last one didn't matter. But then I found out that my room has no windows. This was slightly annoying at first, but now that it's colder, it's not a big deal anymore. There are other things, too, though. The guy I rent from practically threatened to kick me out for not closing the basement door and for closing the cabinets too loud. And now I can't do laundry there. And I'm really really tired of hearing his joke on how my mom is younger than him. Okay, that one may be my fault, because I told him, but seriously, I don't think it's a big deal unless you make a big deal out of it. I'm open about it and then I move on. Argh. I just want to get out of there, but it's not in my best interest to find another place to live the last 2 months I'm in Connecticut (and thank God it's only 2 more months). And they all wonder why I disappear every weekend....
- Lizzardie, at 9:02 AM
|
Tuesday, November 06, 2001
|
I really wish that I was sleeping better. I can't figure it out - I can only manage to sleep for 2 hours at most before I wake up, and then it's another 20 minutes before I fall back to sleep again. It's like I go through one sleep cycle and then instead of repeating that trend, I wake up. Not cool. And I think it's contributing to me being really cranky and snappy at people. I don't like it one bit. I wonder if it's all in my head, though. I have lots of trouble sleeping on my nice full size bed in Connecticut, but not so much trouble sleeping on people's couches when I go away for the weekend. Could it be because I just don't like Connecticut? Is it because I'm trying to go to bed too early (10:00pm) and my body is protesting (though it should stop - it's for its own good, what with me having to be up at 5:30am)? I don't go to bed that early on visits, because it's the weekend? Could it be because there are no windows and therefore because I have no sense of what time it is from the light in my room I'm too paranoid to sleep? I haven't been in Connecticut on a weekend in a month, so I really have no basis to tell. I mean, I hardly ever sleep completely through the night, but we're usually talking waking up once, maybe twice. This is getting ridiculous.
In other news, turns out my car is going to St. Louis this weekend. I'm both happy and sad about this. I'm sad because I was actually looking forward to NOT doing a ton of driving. I'm happy because on long car trips, I find it more comfortable to drive than to be a passenger. I don't know why this is. You would think it would take more out of me to drive than to sit there and do nothing, but it's the other way around. When I sit in a car for upwards of 10-12 hours (this trip will be 16 hours) and do nothing, I am absolutely exhausted afterwards. But I'm much more alert when I'm the one doing the driving. And there will be people in my car! For once, I will not be on a long trip with only myself and my CDs to keep me company! Yay!
Sarah and I are going to work on the presentation we have to give on Tuesday morning at some point today. For now, though, I'm going to read Harry Potter. Yes, again. Hey, it's good reading and I have nothing better to do. Once again, thank goodness for shortened weeks.
- Lizzardie, at 8:39 AM
|
Monday, November 05, 2001
|
I still hate FedEx. Now I actually have to go and pick up my package in Stratford (not that any of you know where that is or anything). So, so annoying. I just want my cell phone bill so that I can pay it and not screw up my mother's credit. Argh. =(
Did I mention that my mother spent all day Saturday making fun of my accent? Now I'm getting made fun of because of my Midwestern accent and because of my Upstate NY accent. How can I have both? My mom said it's esp. noticeable with words such as "have" and "has." Jaclyn says that might be because I don't put as much emphasis on the "a" anymore (characteristic of Chicagoans) or at least not as much. Still, it's just another example of how I no longer have a real home (the other example is that my mom gave my bedroom and my waterbed to my younger sister and now refers to "my new room" has "her office" - all it has in there for me is a sofabed). I feel like I'm in some sort of abyss or something - I don't belong where I am now but I don't belong where I used to be either. *sigh*
- Lizzardie, at 4:48 PM
|
|
Monday, Monday, Monday. At least this is a four-day week for me, right? And I haven't had a day off since, um....Labor Day. Which was the day before I started working at Pitney Bowes. So, this 4-day weekend will be very nice, very nice indeed. And Thanksgiving is coming up, and I'll have another 4-day weekend. YAY!!!
So, my weekend....where do I begin? I drove up to Ithaca on Friday night, as I do most Friday nights (not this Friday night, but that's because I'm driving up to Ithaca on THURSDAY night instead). I stayed at Amy's on Friday night, which was nice, because she and I haven't gotten to spend all that much time together lately, what with me being in Connecticut and staying with other people when I come to town and her with her thesis and the GREs and whatnot. So....it was good. We went and saw K-PAX, which was NOT good. The movie didn't make any sense whatsoever - very hard to follow and neither of us are sure what the ending means. I'm no longer allowed to pick the movie when we go anymore. That's okay, I guess - I hate picking the movie, but K-PAX looked better than Monsters, Inc. How was I supposed to know???
On Saturday, I drove to Buffalo and went straight to the airport to pick up my mom. That was the first time I had been to an airport since the whole WTC thing and it was kind of strange. They searched my car when I went to park, but then there was very little security. I was only in baggage claim, but I saw 2 guys in fatigues walking around once, and that was it. And there were no people there to begin with. Quite eerie. So, I got my mom and then we went to see my aunt. It was a fun-filled day of me driving them around and carrying their various purchases. My aunt can't carry anything because her arm is still very sore from the removal of the lymph nodes (she can't even drive) and my mom apparently has osteo-arthritis starting in her arm, so she can't carry anything heavy either (not to mention her cyadic - or psychotic as she calls it - nerve is acting up in her leg). It was kind of depressing and tiring all at the same time. My aunt will be 43 and my mom will be 38 (both in January) and they're both so gimpy. Plus, being the adult all day really took a lot of energy out of me. "Lizzie, would you mind taking us to Wal-mart?" "While we're here, I have to look at the model cars." Blah, blah, blah. I felt old, really, really old. On a brighter side, my mom gave me a really really cute picture of Emilee (my littlest sister, for those who don't know). I miss the little munchkin. =(
Sunday just involved driving back to Ithaca, where I went to the PSP meeting and then had lunch with a bunch of brothers (who continued to comment that I've been to more meetings than some of the active brothers). I tried to visit Jaclyn, but she was not home, so I just went back to Connecticut after that. It was a tiring weekend, as all of my weekends tend to be. Lots of driving. And next weekend, I'll be in a car for so, so long in that trip to St. Louis. And my aunt wants me to visit her again the weekend after that. And the weekend after that is Thanksgiving and I'm going to Albany to stay with Jaclyn's family. Definitely, definitely after that I will not be visiting again. My next trip will be to Chicago for the holidays and then I'll be moving back to Ithaca after that. I swear, really I do!
Other details....my mom brought me the last 3 months worth of my magazines, so that was nice. I've been scouring them for Absolut ads for me and Milk ads for Jaclyn, though I'm not reading them yet as I'd like to have something to do on that St. Louis trip (other than sleep). I realized that I never changed the address on 2 of my 6 subscriptions, so that was unfortunate. I fixed that, though, so it's all good. Umm...I hate FedEx. Course of events: last Monday, my mother sends me my cell phone bill 2-day FedEx. Wednesday, I get a notice from FedEx that I have a package, but no one was there to sign for it. I sign the release. Thursday, I get another notice telling me I have to sign both sides of the release (last time, I only had to sign one side). I sign both sides of the release. Friday, I get a notice (or I was told I got a notice - I wasn't there and now the notice has disappeared) saying that it was the final notice and otherwise it was being sent back. How many times do I need to sign for the damn thing???? They'll be getting a phone call shortly.
Other than that, no new news. I have to work on my presentation (with Sarah, thankfully) for next Tuesday, right after I get back from my long weekend. So, so not fair. I don't think I'll work on it today, though. I'm lazy and tired. =)
- Lizzardie, at 9:04 AM
|
Saturday, November 03, 2001
|
I used to think I was a good friend. Maybe I am, I don't know. I haven't felt like it lately, though. I thought that I was a good listener, and I try to use whatever wisdom I have to help them and everything. I really care about my friends. Really I do. But now I've screwed up twice this week. TWICE. And not just little screwed up, big screwed up. The first situation....I learned that I should talk to my friends about any issues that I have with them, because it's better to get the air cleared than to let things build and build until I say things that I really don't mean. So....in the second situation, I tried to use that knowledge. What did I learn this time? There are just some things better left unsaid. So now I don't know what to do. When did everything become so complicated???
- Lizzardie, at 12:39 AM
|
Friday, November 02, 2001
|
I'm waiting for a SAS program to run, and it's taking pretty much forever. =(
So....you may recall that yesterday I whined about there being a $52 withdrawal pending on my checking account. WELL...that same withdrawal is still pending AND now there's an additional pending withdrawal of $15. This had better be a mistake, I swear. I mean, all of my checks are accounted for, I have my ATM card - what am I missing here???? Sorry, I get a little testy when it comes to money.
I shoved my new hoop earrings into my ears again today. My ears are not very happy with me. I need to wear earrings more often, because my ears bitch every time I do - I need to get them used to having foreign metals objects shoved through small holes in them. It's for their own good (mine, too - I don't like how red they look and how painful it is to wear the earrings!). Back to the hoops - I've decided that should be my new image - girl who wears 2 sets of silver hoops in her ears. What do you think? Someone told me that hoops and curly hair are sexy together, but um, yeah, I'll believe that when some guy hits on me and tells me so. I won't be holding my breath on that one. I have yet to hear a guy say that he likes curly hair over straight hair, let alone girls with curly hair and big silver hoop earrings. Girls are all so envious of my curly hair and I don't know why. I like my hair, but I'd like it more if I knew it was an appealing feature. No use complaining, I suppose - I do have a choice: I could spend an hour each morning straightening it. I don't see that one happening any time soon. Or ever.
A little over an hour to go, until I get to leave! Yippee! Sarah and I went to McDonald's for a change of pace today. It was very, very yummy (mmmmm, fries.....). We decided that we should go every Friday, just to break up the day and give us something else to look forward to. This place is so horrible! Get this: our supervisor is going to be on vacation for the next staff meeting (Nov. 13), so Sarah and I have to present the Price Testing project. We are so not excited. For one, we're engineers - we don't do presentations. Everyone knows that, right? Number 2: we hate this project. It's not interesting to us - in fact, it's down right boring. 3: we don't feel we understand it properly. Sure, the actual presentation is already prepared, and theoretically, we just have to do the actual presenting - not much work involved. BUT, if anyone asks any questions, we're virtually screwed. Not a good scenario. And finally: it's my first day back after the St. Louis trip. Yes, that's right, I have Friday and Monday off and come back to do a presentation first thing Tuesday morning. This is really not a good situation, for either of us. I pray that we can get this to go smoothly in practice by next Thursday, because otherwise, we're not in a very good situation at all. But hey, after that - a week where my supervisor is gone. This means we'll be nothing for a week, but at least I don't have to deal with him. He's so, so creepy. Just thinking about him gives me the creeps. *SHUDDER* Ugh.
- Lizzardie, at 3:02 PM
|
|
"Soon as the evening shades prevail,
The moon takes up the wondrous tale,
And nightly to the listening earth
Repeats the story of her birth;
While all the stars that round her burn,
And all the planets in their turn,
Confirm the tidings as they roll,
And spread the truth from pole to pole."
-- Joseph Addison
Isn't that a nice little poem? I just changed my calendar at work (even though I told myself all day to do so yesterday) and that's this month's poem (my calendar is Moons, btw, and it gives me a poem each month). I figured since it's Friday and all, I would start the day off with something nice. =)
So...my plans for the weekend. Well, they look like my plans for most weekends lately, I suppose. I leave work at 4:00pm today, just like most Fridays, and I'll be heading to Ithaca. I'm hoping for a good traffic day, although I had a bad traffic morning, so who knows, right? One never knows. It's just that it's so much nicer to get into Ithaca before nine than after ten. Maybe it's just me, though. I'm staying with Amy tonight, so I'm sure she'll spend lots of time talking about the Yankees game she went to (Game 4). It's cool. Then, tomorrow, I'm going to Buffalo to visit with my aunt and my mom. I actually have to pick my mom up from the airport, since my aunt is unable to drive (she had lymph nodes removed from her right arm, so her movement is restricted and her car has a manual transmission anyways). It's on my way, so I volunteered to get my mom. I'm a little nervous, though, about driving with her in the car. I haven't driven with her in the car more than a mile since I got my license, and with the accident and all, I really don't feel up for the criticism. It could be worse, I suppose - I could have to drive my dad around, which just might kill me, since I told myself I'd never drive with him in the car again (he was a horrible teacher when I was learning how to drive). Then on Sunday, I'll be stopping in Ithaca again to break up the driving and visit with my friends. That's my weekend - spent mostly in my car, as always. My travels, combined with the fact that I haven't been sleeping very well makes me believe that I might be spending more time in the car than sleeping. Probably not true, but it sure feels like it.
I got some good news yesterday. I was talking to my aunt about this weekend, and she told me that the tests on the lymph nodes came back negative, so she'll only need 3-4 months of chemo as opposed to 6-8 months and no radiation. YAY! I mean, I would love for her not to need any chemo, but I'll take whatever good news I can. She says she wants to have all this behind her by March. I agree. Now we just have to wait for the genetic testing, which I'm still worried about, but that's months away, so I'm trying not to think about it. But still, good news, yay! I just wish she sounded more upbeat when I talk to her, but I suppose it's all to be expected....
There's some things I need to do, I've decided. After screwing up a situation with one friend, I think that it would be bad to let something like that happen with another friend, so I need to talk to this second friend about something that she's doing that upsets me. I'm a little worried, though, because she tends to take criticism poorly, and I'm not entirely convinced that I'm not being selfish (does that make any sense?). I'd go into detail, but I learned my lesson as far as that. Argh, this is going to be difficult, because I really need to have this conversation before Sunday and I don't know when I'll be able to. Perhaps IM would be better here....hmmm....I'm trying to decide if I'm being paranoid, because it's like I think all of my good friends are out to get me. Who thinks like that? It doesn't make sense that ANY of my friends would purposely try and hurt my feelings (because I know these people, right?) but lately it's like I think that everyone is doing just that. I need to relax and calm down, I think, because that's just a ridiculous notion.
6 hours, 20 minutes until I'm outta here for the weekend(!!!!!).....
- Lizzardie, at 9:44 AM
|
Thursday, November 01, 2001
|
Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. At least I'm finished with those stupid graphs, which, what do ya know, didn't tell me a damn thing! I hate my job, but you all knew that already, I suppose.
So....it's Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday, and this week will finally be over. I really wish I could forget this week ever happened, but I suppose that's not possible. When I think back to Monday....was it really just Monday?....ahhh, well, I'm only human, right? I suppose I'm lucky I have forgiving friends, although, to be honest, I haven't figured out just how forgiving yet. In due time, I suppose. I was talking with Amy the other day, and she brought up the fact that my life was made infinitely times more complicated because of this whole co-op thing. Monday probably wouldn't have happened, since I would have been in Ithaca to correctly deal with the situation. I probably wouldn't be so damn miserable, either, since I'd be with my friends, despite the fact that I'm sure I'd be bogged down with work. All this is true, but who knows how different my life would have been if I hadn't co-oped? I've said it before and I'll say it again - I think that being in Ithaca this semester would have been great only because the summer was great. So...it's like a trade-off, I guess. I got to have a great summer, in exchange for pining for the semester that could have been but never would have been. Does that make any sense? Ahh, well, the weeks are winding down....
- Lizzardie, at 4:51 PM
|
|
There's a $52 withdrawal pending on my checking account, which concerns me. I haven't made any withdrawals today or yesterday, and none of my outstanding checks are for that much. Argh...I hate when this happens - I start getting all paranoid that I left something where I shouldn't have (which I do ALL the time - I can be so absent-minded) and that it's come back to bite me in the ass. At least today is payday, although once again, I have mucho bills to pay. *sigh*
I hate Daylights Savings Time, by the way. Granted, it's nice that it's light out in the morning again - and I can use my sunglasses, woohoo, but I don't like that it's pitch black out at 5:30pm when I leave work - it's so depressing. Or, maybe it's that I hate leaving at 5:30. Soon, though, I'll have all the time made up for the days I'm taking off in order to go to St. Louis with the frat, and I can go back to leaving a little later (after 7:00am, perhaps? this reminds me of high school) and leaving at or before 5:00pm. That will still be a few weeks, and by that time it'll be pitch black at 5:00pm and I will basically be trapped inside for the entire part of the day where there's sunlight. No wonder winter depresses me.
So....I'm spending my morning with more statistics. Yippee! Or not.... Really, I shouldn't complain, since my major is about half statistics and therefore, I should be thrilled to apply it. Right? Wrong. It's so, so dull. I'm just doing the same thing over and over and over and over...(you get the idea) again. And you know what? In the almost two months that I've been working on this project, we have learned nothing since the first week. Absolutely nothing. We get new data and it just fits in with the old data. Basically, we can raise our rates as much as we want and our customers won't complain, that's our conclusion (which doesn't give me much faith in the intelligence of the world, but that's besides the point). It frustrates me to no end that this is what I spend my days doing (when I'm not on IM or sleeping or working on my webpage....). I'm worried that for the second time, I chose the wrong major. Am I ever going to find something that's challenging and rewarding at the same time? I want to look back and see that I've made a difference, at least somehow. I may not be out to save the world, but brightening someone's day would certainly satisfy me. Hell, brightening MY day would satisfy me. Instead, I sit doing work that I consider completely mindless. I want my work to require some thought, to make me use what I know to learn more. I've never had a job that's done that and I wonder if I ever will. I don't want to spend the rest of my life at jobs like this, where I start my countdown to Friday the minute I get to work on Monday. That's not a life at all, so I sure as hell don't want to make it mine.
*sigh* No use complaining right now, though, I suppose. Back to my number crunching....
- Lizzardie, at 9:59 AM
|
|
