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Friday, December 31, 2004
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Happy New Year. Or something like that.
It occurs to me that I wanted to post one more time in 2004, and that I hadn't given an update about my trip home (or the rest of it). So that's what I'll do now, since I have nothing better to do at 8:20pm on New Years Eve or really for the rest of the night.
So, when I had last updated, I wasn't really enjoying myself at home. Well, I can't say that you had to drag me away when I left, but I did have an okay Christmas and got to see a few friends. Thursday I had lunch with Jaime and then drove into Chicago to have dinner with Alexis (we ate at a bar called J. Patrick's in Bucktown). Friday was Christmas Eve, and quite honestly, it was depressing. My mom sulked around the house all day because of all the presents she had to wrap that day. My dad made oyster stew in the tradition of my grandmother. I went to church and took Emilee with me. These days, church is really the only redeeming part about Christmas Eve, and the fact that I wasn't doing anything the rest of the day kept reminding me of why that is. So it was nice to get away and if you've ever talked with Pastor Suzanne or heard one of her sermons, you might understand why I always feel so much better when I return.
Christmas morning we all got up bright and early with lots of presents. From Santa Claus, I got, among other things, a new coat (ankle length camel-colored wool and cashmere blend), poker chips in a nice metal case, $150 Best Buy gift certificate and a game board (chess, checkers and backgammon). Ohh, we all also got Zodiac Barbie in our respective signs, though I left that at home. There were clothes from my parents. Kim and Rebecca got iPods and I did not, though that is a story better left untold here.
Relatives came over, which was nice, though not as large of a crowd as usual. I learned that my grandparents did not intend to be in Florida for Christmas; they had to stay there for my grandfather's rehabilitation after surgery. And my aunt Marilyn and her boyfriend Jim also intended on being in Chicago but couldn't come because Jim was having back problems. So I felt better about that. Dinner was taking FOREVER to cook (usually we eat around 3:00pm; this year we ate at 6:00pm) so we opened presents first. From Jim, for my first family gift exchange gift, I got a new coffee maker (it grinds its own beans), a selection of Starbucks coffee, a Starbucks thermos and a $100 Starbucks gift certificate. I also got enough cash to go with the Best Buy card to buy my iPod, which I did yesterday. :-)
Sunday I got all ready to go back to Boston. But first, lunch with Laura. It was so good to see her, but it made me so sad to hear about how horrible her students are. And it made me think about Will, who's going through the same thing, only at the high school instead of the elementary school level. I have to give a lot of credit to my Teach for America friends.
And then I was already to go! Except I didn't get to. Despite the sunny (though cold!) weather in Chicago, apparently a snow storm was brewing in the Northeast which cancelled all flights into Logan. :-( So I made arrangements for a new flight on Monday and called in to work to let them know I wouldn't be there on Monday. And then I sat around. There was nothing to do. I'd planned my short visit down to the minute, for the most part, and then I had this time I didn't know what to do with. And then everyone left! My parents and Kim and her boyfriend Tom left to have dinner with Tom's parents. Christina left to watch a movie next door. Rebecca left to spend the night at a friend's house. Yes, that left me to babysit Emilee. Fun, really. I made her dinner and cleaned the kitchen and picked up the house. Did my parents say anything when they returned? No. Did anyone care? No. *sigh*
Monday I shipped my boxes of presents back to Boston (including a VCR I took from the house) and then went to the airport. Instead of my nice direct flight, I got routed through Raleigh, NC, and the whole trip took nearly 8 hours, from the time my first flight was supposed to leave until getting off the plane in Boston. Yuck. After taking a cab back to my apartment (expensive!) I was left with the task of shoveling the foot of snow off of my drive to free up my car. Ohh my - that took an hour and a half and by the end, my jeans were literally FROZEN on the bottom. Oy.
But yes, I made it back okay. And since, I've had a quiet week. Going to work and coming home to an empty house. :-/ I miss my friends, and hope to see them next week when everyone gets back. My roommates got back yesterday and today, but they have yet to seem to want to hang out (not that we ever really hang out) and quite honestly, I don't know if anyone else is back yet.
So that brings us to the end of 2004. What can I say? I hate New Years, but I think I will take some time to reflect on the past year and look to the future and 2005.
To be quite honest, 2004 was not one of my better years - not even close. The first almost 10 months were a nightmare of depression and internal loneliness that I can't even begin to describe. If you wonder why so many of my entries here were whiny and depressing, that's why - by the end I'd pushed most of my friends away and I had no other venue to express the horrors inside my head. The last 2 months have been better but I can't say that every day feels good and there's still something that doesn't feel quite right - as if I'm not feeling something that I should be. I don't know.
So I'd like to forget 2004. And just start over with 2005. So I have a few goals, including: play more poker, eat better, sleep better, exercise more, learn to knit, stop biting my nails, take care of my skin, buy furniture, budget my money better and learn to feel better about myself. It's a lot, I know, but I think I will be better for it and the rest of you will feel better about knowing me.
And so this horrible horrible year ends. I wish today had been better, because I hate ending the year on this terrible note. But tomorrow is a new day and a new year and there will be better days. I can feel it.
- Lizzardie, at 8:19 PM
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004
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I know I need to update about my wonderful holiday weekend in Illinois, but I'm at work right now. Instead, I will give these wonderful little example sentences from the M-W Word of the Day, because it's like they were written for the names there (word of the day in bold for your convenience):
12/29/04:
Herb threw down the gauntlet, asking his guests, "Which one of you wants to get beaten in a game of chess?"
12/26/04:
Liz's friends marvel that anyone as skillful as she is at managing an accounting office can be so maladroit when it comes to keeping track of her personal finances.
- Lizzardie, at 9:40 AM
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Saturday, December 25, 2004
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MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! :-)
- Lizzardie, at 2:19 AM
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Thursday, December 23, 2004
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Umm, I didn't think I'd have time to update while I was "home for the holidays" but it's 6:30am Central time and I'm awake and why the hell not.
The week was uneventful before my departure. Jamie and I had the apartment to ourselves (Anna left on Saturday for home, without me knowing that). She made cookies Monday night and then Tuesday night we ordered pizza and exchanged gifts. It worked out really well because I went to the North End to buy pastries for my family (they ended up a little squished but that's okay) and finish the Christmas shopping. So when I got back, the pizza was on its way. Pizza, Jamie's idea, was of course perfect given my gift to her - 4 plates in a "pizza box" that look like slices of pizza! She seemed to love it, and I hope that's true. She gave me a Starbucks gift card, some mango body butter from The Body Shop, a very pretty coffee mug that has its own coaster, and The Everything Poker Strategy Book - her company publishes it and she even editted it! It was a great present. :-)
And then last night I flew back to Illinois. My flight was pretty uneventful - Boston to NYC to Chicago. When we were taking off in New York, the pilot announced that it was -12 degrees outside.... and the whole plane gasped. He of course then continued to say that was Celsius and it was 11 degrees Farenheit, and we could take a blanket as we left. :-) Chicago = far colder than Boston, and I'm not used to it.
My mom made me wait outside for her (since I came in early) but failed to tell me she had a new car that is a totally different color (silver instead of the old black). Apparently she bought it 3 months ago but couldn't tell me. Right, because I was really in the mood to be surprised about that.
We got back to the house after dropping Joleen off (nice to see her). Of course the bickering and fighting of my sisters commenced, well, probably before I got there. *sigh* I handed out the Boston treats - my family didn't seem to get it (why would I bring them a Red Sox and Patriots ornament?), though my dad seemed happy with the maple syrup (next time, I'll just spend all of my money on that. Yikes.
My parents then went to bed (ohh, after a dog and 2 cats jumped all over me). They cleaned up the office for me, which was nice, though they failed to get me a blanket or sheets or anything, which made for a very uncomfortable 5 hours of sleep (maybe I'll go back to sleep in a little bit - it was weird to open my eyes to see my computer read 7:45am Eastern and it still be pitch black outside). And I can't find any hangers to put my clothes on, or any glasses for water (okay, I found ONE). At least all of my Christmas gifts have arrived, except for my mom's. And I'm going to be late with my Aunt's present, since it shipped TODAY, which means it doesn't arrive in Boston until Friday (which means I couldn't ship it out to her until Monday anyway, and I'll be back by then). Ironically, the package originated in Florida... should have had it shipped directly to her (*sigh*).
Today, lunch with Jaime and dinner with Alexis downtown, which should be nice. And wrappng presents. And maybe some more sleep right now, because I am very very tired. :-(
- Lizzardie, at 7:36 AM
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Sunday, December 19, 2004
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I oftentimes feel that listening to music is therapy, no matter what type of music it is. I very often can tell what my mood is just in the way that I react to a particular song. Just a few words can make me think about something and ponder it and heal, and I think that's a very important thing to happen.
Anyhow, I say this, because I saw this link in a friend's livejournal, and figured I'd click on it and see the video for Sarah McLachlan's "World On Fire" video. I have the CD the song is on, so I had of course heard it and had gathered what I could personally from the lyrics, but seeing this video was incredible for me. I have new respect for Sarah McLachlan for making it.
- Lizzardie, at 11:26 PM
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Updating (again!) because with the Holidays and going back to Illinois, I don't know when I will again. :-)
Last night I went over to Kristen's for dinner/wine/movies. She made salad and quiche and asparagus, and it was delicious. There was also a fabulous chocolate torte. Yum. I brought the wine - a French Rhone Syrah and an Italian Montepulciano D'Abruzzo (or something like that). We "watched" 10 Things I Hate About You and Miss Congeniality. Really, we talked through the former and I slept through the latter (after all that wine....). It was a nice evening. And it's very interesting to get some perspective from someone else on events. Kristen and I basically used our experiences to put together the "true" (obviously we're missing the stories of everyone else) happenings of an evening and it was quite revealing. Fun times, despite my embarrassment for parts of it. No need to go into details. :-)
I've had a good time giving out Christmas presents this weekend, which always makes me feel good. Picking out gifts for so many people can be exhausting (as can purchasing them) so it's nice when it all turns out well. Kristen got a bunch of papermaking supplies - the cotton paper stuff, a papermaking book (which she had apparently been eye-ing), irridescent flakes and gold-leaf flakes. She appeared to love it. Susan got a bottle of wine stuck in a puzzle, which she also seemed to enjoy (though she never solved and therefore did not get to see which wine I had chosen for her - I hope she eventually gets it out!). I also left Jeff's present (the part just for him) with Kristen, though I ended up seeing him when I went today to drop off Herb's present - they both got a bunch of cookies that I slaved over for two days. Herb got oatmeal chocolate chip (one of his favorites) and iced lemon cookies (another favorite). Jeff got basically the same, only his lemon cookies are not iced because he had said he didn't like the icing (too sour). I have more presents for the two of them combined, and since those are not perishable and I did not think I'd see Jeff this weekend, they will have to wait.
So since those presents all seemed to go well, I'm more confident about my choices for other people now. I need to buy my aunt's present and a present for one more Boston person, and also get a card or something for my grandparents. And mail my mom's present tomorrow with a prayer that it's delivered in Illinois by Christmas (it seems to be too big to carry onto the plane and besides, I want to carry on my laptop). I feel a lot better about the holidays this year since I was actually able to purchase gifts. Though I am a little tired of hearing about how people don't have gifts for me - I'm not expecting any back and it's okay! Kristen seemed to feel bad because her gift to me was homemade, but it was really great - a homemade candle and a pair of homemade jade earrings. And Susan also felt bad about not having presents, but she's taking me to the airport on Wednesday. And Herb kept saying that he was embarrassed about not having a gift for me, and decided he needed to hand me a tin of cookies (silly boy). The idea was to make my friends feel good and loved and I do hope that they do and get over the gift thing.
Merry Christmas if I don't write again before then! :-)
- Lizzardie, at 3:35 PM
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Friday, December 17, 2004
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I normally don't update from work, but I sorta have no motivation to do anything else right now, so why the hell not.
So what have I been up to for the last three weeks.... where to start....
I went to Ithaca two weeks ago for the formal/a discussion meeting. Herb gave me "officer transition" for Alumni Advisor stuff, which was amusing. He and I traveled together, and he brought all of this paperwork with him to give to me, which I immediately put back in the car to be toted back to Boston. It's not like we live 2 miles apart or anything. :-P We also traveled with Helen (picked her up in Albany), and it was nice to spend some time with the two of them.
So the discussion meeting was good and the formal was good. I borrowed Cat's dress, which was blue and pretty. :-) I didn't take any pictures, but I'll eventually get some from other people and one of these days I'll figure out a new way to host them. :-P I was so tired after Ithaca, but at least I'd had a half day on Friday before then (no internet at work) and I didn't do any driving! Herb made me buy him a pack of cloves as payment for the driving (it's not like he would have let me drive anyway) but I didn't care.
Other news I guess is that work gave me a laptop finally. It's thin and light (compared to my personal one at least) and FAST. My roommates are happy because it means they get more access to my computer, and I don't feel so bad about the internet anymore (which all of us are paying equally but I'm the only one who owns a computer). I use the work computer pretty much exclusively now, unless I need to access files or print. Whee!
Last Saturday I did a marathon session of Christmas shopping. And I mean MARATHON. Kittery (Maine), Downtown Crossing, Quincy Market, the Cambridgeside Galleria and Target (Somerville). And I don't think I was even half done. This week, I've managed to hit Target (Watertown) and Target (Everett), along with Michael's, Star Market, University Wine, The Paper Source.... plus 3 online orders. Yikes! But I'm down to 4 people who I either need to finish shopping for (2) or start shopping for (2). Tomorrow will be fun.
I will now finish updating at home. And back up a little. Amy came into town last Thursday for a stats conference (right up my ally, really), so I went out with her for a little while. We went to The Red House in Harvard Square, which was really yummy - I recommend it - and then I took her to Burdick's. We both immensely enjoyed their hot chocolate and I bought her 4 of their signature chocolate mice as a Chanukah present (she liked the idea of 3 blind mice, and the four came in a cute little box). Then Friday night I went out with her, her boyfriend Paul (he trained in from NYC that day) and his friend Riaz. We went to the North End, which was fabulous as always and then to this bar called the Purple Shamrock. I wasn't really feeling the bar scene so I went home early, but it was nice to get out downtown. And to see Amy of course. :-)
Saturday night ended up being fun, too! Kate called me up while I was doing my shopping, and invited me to the Lizard Lounge for some live music. I of course could never pass up a place called the Lizard Lounge (and within walking distance of my apartment!) so I went. Kate, her boyfriend Alex and their friend Alethea (maybe I'm spelling that right) were there, and the music was amazing. The first band was The Billy Nayer Show, and it was really good music with hilarious lyrics (one song about a lizard falling in love with a log, another about being the captain of a cow, etc...). My favorite song was probably the one that was very Eve-esque. Kate and Alex have been to see them so many times that the band members recognize them, so we got free posters and stickers. :-) Between bands, Herb, Jeff and AJ showed up - awesome to see them. And then the second band - also incredible. They are the Ragman Son Revue, and I enjoyed them immensely as well - I even danced around! We all seemed to have a good time, and for that I am glad (despite the 8 dollar cover and expensive drinks). After the bar, I ended up walking back with the boys and staying up all night playing video games with them - Mortal Combat, Techmo Bowl and Ice Hockey (the last 2 on 8-bit Nintendo). It was very nostalgic for me, but it was also very nice to spend time with the boys without being angry at them. It's really been a while since I'd felt comfortable in that apartment (going way back to when I was living there) and I feel like things are going back to the way they are supposed to be.
This week has been rather laid back, other than the Christmas stuff. I had coffee (read: hot chocolate for me, hot tea for him) with Herb at Carberry's the other night, which was nice both for the conversation and because I found a new chill coffee and pastry place within walking distance of me. Herb thought it was odd that I hadn't been there yet, but there are so many places within walking distance of me, what with Porter and Davis Squares being so close, that I could not have possibly gone to all of them in the last three months! One day. :-)
As for this week.... dinner and girl talk with Susan and Kristen tomorrow night - Kristen is cooking. Then packing and generally getting ready for my mini "vacation" - heading back to Illinois for Christmas with the family. It's been a long time since I've been back and since I've seen my family, so I'm looking forward to it. And then back here... it'll be my first East Coast/Eastern Time Zone New Years and I still haven't figured out what I'm doing! I'm sure something will come to me, though, eventually....
- Lizzardie, at 11:28 PM
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