|
Thursday, March 31, 2005
|
I am ITCHING for summer. It's starting to prickle my skin and when I'm outside, even though it's only getting up to the upper 40's, I can feel the pull of the sunshine, taunting me. It's driving me crazy. I know, I know, I live in New England, so I should expect the lack of sun.... but this is partly why I love winter. It makes me ache for summer. And there's the skiing, too.
It's been a... something... few weeks. I've eaten out places. Seen friends. Done work. Yeah...
All right, getting down to things. I've been trying new restaurants with Karen. It's a good way to see her and a great way to learn about the fabulous food around here. So last week, Karen's turn to pick a restaurant, we went to Red Bones. Karen and I both agree that it was good, but not Dinosaur BBQ good. But I did get home and have that fabulous smokey smell in my hair. This week we tried Sauce, also in Davis Square (my pick). It was okay. I think it would be better with more people, because then you can get lots of their "plates (think tapas) although they don't have that many. I had the salmon (sushi-style) and margarita pizza. Karen also had the margarita pizza and cheese-covered bruschetta. The pizza wasn't fabulous, but I did really enjoy the salmon. And I like the atmosphere of the place. I'm interested in trying one of their entrees, now.
Also from last week... I met up with Herb to talk about frat stuff, and we went to this fabulous coffee house in Davis... Someday Cafe. It has squishy couches and the most wonderful rooibos tea I've ever had. I've already gone back twice to get tea (once jasmine pearls, also fabulous, and another time more rooibos). I have a feeling that place is going to see more of me in the future.
Friday night we had a little Beta Nu gathering. Kathy (who returned to me my beloved sunglasses, left in Ithaca), Susan, Kate, Alex and Mark (from Watertown) were in attendance. We met in Back Bay (I went shopping first, bought a sweater on sale at Banana Republic) and ended up at Vinny T's for dinner. There was much... strangeness, including me saying "Bread can do that to you sometimes" which I think was in response to something about getting pregnant.... this made linguistic sense to Kathy, so whatever. Later we walked all the way to Fenway to get ice cream at Coldstone Creamery. By that time my feet, in my comfy Bandolino heels, were killing me and I was happy to take the T home (it was either that or alcohol and everyone was tired).
Sunday was Easter. Happy Easter. I actually went to church, and then came home to make myself muffins. Yum. There was also cleaning and laundry. Though Tuesday I received my Easter present from my parents, which was a whole ton of Jelly Belly (I love Jelly Belly), complete with a gumball-machine type dispenser, yay. So there was a little more than two and a half pounds of jelly beans, with 2.2 lb bags coming two more times (in the next 2 months). Yikes. And yum.
And tomorrow is Friday! Yay! Also April Fool's Day (so I'll be looking over my shoulder all day) and the start of one of the bad months at work. Woohoo.
- Lizzardie, at 10:51 PM
|
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
|
There are plenty of "this is what's going on in my life" things to say, but why do that? There's also lots of, this is what's going on in the news sorts of things, too. I'm not going to post links, but rather, rely on my reader's intelligence in finding articles (I like Google News) if they actually want to read them.
First things first. Apparently there was a study saying that Harvard students are more unhappy than students at peer institutions (this would of course include Cornell). I'm amazed that Harvard students would be more miserable than Cornell students, which is what all of the articles imply (well, they imply that Harvard students are more unhappy than at other schools, not specifically Cornell). Except, when you read the fine print, you find that Harvard does not have the least happy students, it's just at the bottom of the list. There are 4 schools with unhappier students. What schools are they, you ask? Don't know, because the study is CONFIDENTIAL. So, really, who cares about any of the schools, except Harvard, where it's okay to violate confidentiality. How does this make it into the news (and into my inbox, no less)?
Going back another day, I read the newest study on how women make less money than men. Taking it one step further, white women make less money than Asian or African American women, only marginally better than Hispanic women (so marginal, that I wonder if it's statistically significant). When I started grumbling, my coworkers pointed out that these studies are generally done for people on the entire spectrum of career path, and it might be more interesting to look at people just out of college. They have a point, but they are both male. The one, my manager, pointed out that personally, I'm doing rather well. I think he misses the point that it's not about me. And then I remind myself that this study was for people with only a Bachelor's degree, which means I don't fall within the population of interest, anyhow. Still.
Last thing I'll say about stuff in the news is regarding the Schiavo case. Honestly, I wouldn't even say anything, if it didn't have a personal meaning to me. But it's at the bottom here, because it doesn't deserve as much news coverage as it's getting. And the only thing I'll say is that I respect the opinions of both sides of the debate, but contend that it's a private, family matter, and if I find out that any of my elected representatives voted for it (Congressman Capuano did not, I don't know about the MA Senators - they actually likely did not or skipped town, but whatever), they'll never get my vote.
That's all for my comments about the news for now. Update on my life coming soon, hopefully...
- Lizzardie, at 12:54 PM
|
Monday, March 21, 2005
|
I'm beginning to think that the sleeplessness/headaches/migraines are from anxiety. It seems to get much worse when there's some sort of stress in my life. So right now, heavy amounts of stress equals a constantly tired Liz. Take today (err... yesterday). Despite it being Sunday and me having stayed in bed pretty late both weekend mornings, I couldn't keep my eyes open at 10pm. And now here it is, after 3am, and I can't fall back asleep. Is this some sort of cruel trick? If I don't get back to sleep soon, I'll be very tired all day Monday. Which we translate into all week, once AGAIN. Grr.
Slowly the pain seems to be healing a bit, but I think certain events of this week are likely to bring it all back in some capacity or another. Just when you think you have a handle on things....
Before that, though, I'm having dinner with Karen at Red Bones. I've heard good things about Red Bones, so hopefully it will be as yummy as everyone says it is. Will it be as good as Dinosaur BBQ? I don't know, but it would be nice if it was, so that I don't get jealous everytime I hear someone talk about going there. You may visit Red Bones' website here.
I resisted the urge to buy furniture this weekend. I know it would make me happy, but I just can't afford it. However, such urge might not be so easy to shake off next weekend (depending on how I feel). I'm thinking a dresser at least for now and then pick up all the other pieces when I have more money? The thing is, I want them to match, so I don't want to risk buying something now just to have that style be gone in a few months. So we'll see.
I did, however, buy curtains for the window at the top of the stairs, just outside of my room (and therefore, my part of the apartment). They look SO MUCH BETTER than the crappy blinds that were there. Piece by piece, the apartment starts to look really good. Which makes me really happy. :-) At least something does.
I'm reading The Grapes of Wrath right now. It's a little weird how Steinbeck has the book set up. There's a general chapter, not talking about anything specific or in reference to anyone, as if it was the same for everyone, and then a chapter specifically about the main family. Then general, specific, back and forth, just like that. The main chapter seems to be very intertwined with the general one - either what was in the general chapter has just happened to the family or they are going through it now. I'm only 11 chapters in (would have been 12 if I could keep my eyes open earlier) so we'll see.
I did of course watch a ton of Alias this weekend. It helps calm me down, as it gives me something else to focus on. Plus, I like reliving things so that I can put some pieces together as far as what's happening in the show now. So I watched through the end of the first season (I only had 3 episodes to go anyway) and then up to my favorite episode of all time (thus far), which is the 13th episode of the second season. Yes, I know that's a lot, but I was sulking - what do you want from me?
All right, I should go back to sleep now. I'd thought I'd write a rambling post, but apparently that wasn't necessary. So sleep now, hopefully.
- Lizzardie, at 3:12 AM
|
Saturday, March 19, 2005
|
October 29th, 2001.
It's the post that doesn't exist.
Once it did. And I still have it in an email (from myself) somewhere. That's the only time I've ever regretted a post. And the only time I've took something down that I had written.
There are a lot of things about that period of my life that I wish I could change. But I can't. And I was a lot different back then, a lot less mature, a lot less experienced...
I got an email this October (right around the same time, ironically, but at least not the same date - I think the 26th or 27th) that talked about how some people believe time heels all wounds. The person who wrote the email doesn't believe that's true. And looking back on the 3+ years that I have passed since 10/29/01, I don't believe it's true either.
That email and that post are not entirely unrelated. And for more than three years now, I've let that post, and the events leading up to it, define my life. When will I move on to bigger and much, much better things?
The post doesn't exist anymore, at least on a server somewhere. And that's probably for the best. But it's still there, on my harddrive, and still burning in my heart. Maybe it's time I put out the flame.
- Lizzardie, at 1:26 AM
|
|
Another Friday night at home, alone. I honestly don't mind. I managed to catch last night's Apprentice, caught some college hockey (parts of Maine-BC and BU-UNH, neither Vermont-Cornell or Colgate-Harvard were on here), watched a movie (Wicker Park)... good times...
I guess some backtracking is in order. Not too exciting of a week. Saturday night Susan came over and we watched Alias DVDs - 6 episodes. There was also wine and a ton of food from Whole Foods. Sunday I went shopping.
This week I decided that Spring is here, snow that's still on the ground be damned (Susan says my street is such an anomaly because it has way more snow than any other street in the area - luckily some of that melted this week). So, armed with my new Spring wardrobe, I've started dressing like it's Spring. I'm cold all the time (then again, what's new) but at least I look cute and Spring-y and cheerful.
Cheerful on the outside at least. Because I'm not on the inside. I feel like it might be time to admit to myself what has really been bringing me down for, ohh, more than three years now. Yeah, I know that's a long time. It never gets any better, though, and even though I know better, I make the same mistakes. And then I justify them and pretend that everything is okay. It should be no surprise to myself that things are not okay. And while it seems I may have finally admitted it to myself and alluded to it in this journal, I still haven't admitted it to the one person who needs to hear it. I think the day when that is going to happen is getting closer and closer....
I had dinner and drinks with Kristen last night for St. Patrick's Day. Yay Irish (I'm not at all Irish). It was fabulous to see Kristen - it had been more than 2 months - but I don't think I wanted to hear everything she had to say. In fact, one of her stories brought me down even more. *sigh* I need to get my act together.
Tonight... lots of TV of course. Plus going through Chapter emails because I have cleanup to do on some fraternity things. Lucky me. Of course going through all of this ancient stuff brought back a ton of other memories. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.
Wicker Park evoked the same sort of emotions as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I'm not sure why. I absolutely loved Eternal Sunshine, and I don't know if I feel the same way about Wicker Park. In fact, during Wicker Park I thought I hated it. But now that I've seen the ending, maybe I love it. Strange.
Wine. That always makes me happy. Actually it does, weird as that may seem. It relaxes me, but not because of the alcohol (though that helps). So, this week, on Tuesday, I made myself a steak as a nice treat. And you can't have steak without wine, you just can't. So I opened a nice Chilean Merlot, 2002 Santa Rita Riserva to be exact. And it was absolutely amazing. It had this floral/fruity aroma/flavor - I can't quite put my finger on just what it smelled/tasted like - but it was strong and delicious. By the end of the steak and large glass of wine, I was in intoxicating heaven (richness of the meat combined with the alcohol - you get the idea). So then today... for some reason, despite the 7 bottles of Italian wine I have, I decided I needed a bottle to drink tonight - I think I was looking for a Chianti, because that I don't have (they just don't last long in my possession - it's the first thing I want to drink). I did not buy Chianti, though - I bought a Portuguese wine (my first Portugues purchase that isn't Port, which got its first purchase less than 2 weeks ago!) and a red Burgundy, which I'm drinking now. And I felt SO RELAXED in the wine store. Just looking at wine relaxes me. I could do it for hours, literally. And I loved the music they were playing, though I couldn't tell you what it was. The guy who asked me why I chose the Burgundy kinda creeped me out though. I may finish the bottle tonight, despite having a ways to go. Maybe it's not such a good idea.
I also got a ticket this week. Not for speeding (that would be a little more respectable). I got a ticket for "failure to stop for a red light." So, I shot the yellow light and it turned red. If you've ever driven here, ever been here, you know that the drivers DO THAT ALL THE TIME. And you have to be super-agressive/borderline illegal to have any chance around here. And I get pulled over for a $100 ticket. Luckily the officer didn't write me up for the disparate states on my license/plates. That's a no-no in any state. So the next day I went and converted my license (yes, that meant plucking down $90 unnecessary dollars and paying my parking tickets). Now I have this temporary paper thing - at least with my picture on it - and should get my real license sometime this week.
The quest with Citibank continues. They assure me it's taken care of now, but I seriously have my doubts. We'll see. This time I have an employee number of someone who was really nice and helpful.
I don't mind hanging out around here this weekend. There's plenty of college hockey/basketball to keep me company, plus I should really work on the damn frat things (can we say, incorporation was supposed to have been completely taken care of YEARS ago? yeah).
Ohh, but first I wanted to write about my wine from tonight. Not terribly great, but that's not because the wine isn't good (I actually think it would be quite good if it weren't not what I wanted). My problem with pinot noir is not with the wine.... it's with wanting to recreate this specific flavor of a particular Burgundy I once had. It was amazing. It had this amazing metallic/steely flavor to it... and that may not sound tasty but it was. And then every time I think about this I recall, in detail, the night that I had it. I wish I knew what it was. And I wish this wasn't one of those memories that makes me wonder about what the hell I'm doing with my life....
I guess an acknowledgement that this entry is all over the place and doesn't make any sense would be in order. I'm going to finish my glass of wine (screw the whole bottle), turn on Ani again (I'm in love with her CD Evolve from 2003) and go to bed.
- Lizzardie, at 12:48 AM
|
Friday, March 11, 2005
|
You might think that I feel pathetic about blogging on a Friday night, but the truth is I don't. I need this weekend to recuperate - I'm so so tired. I barely remember what it feels like to sleep in - really sleep in - and that's what I intend to do tomorrow. And then maybe Sunday I'll go shopping for a few spring wardrobe pieces.
Besides, today wasn't all bad - or at all bad. I did nothing at work, but no one cared. And then we had alcohol there. And some of you may have heard about our occasional wine and beer gatherings. We went all out this time, though - wine, beer, rum (with mojito mix), tequila (with margarita mix). I steered clear of the tequila (you should all know my aversion) but I did try out the mojito stuff and both wines. The mojito was not as good as my blueberry mojito last weekend, but I think I'd have to compare a "real" mojito with that. And the wines were decent (California pinot noir and Thorn Clarke Barossa Cuvee). So by the time I got home from work, I had already drunk enough to make me sleepy. So I ate dinner and watched a movie. And now here I am - just after 10pm - ready to go to bad.
I don't get movies. I don't know why, really. I mean, I'm more visual so you'd think that seeing things on the screen would excite me. And a really good movie does. But most of them just don't do it for me. I watched The Manchurian Candidate tonight (2004 version). I'd heard that it was quite good, that both versions are good. But for me.... it started off weird, then I was bored, then I was curious and finally I was confused. I just don't know what happened. I love a good movie where at the very end everything comes together to really shock you. Or something original and quirky. Those just seem few and far between though.
I've always been more into books. I was reading an op-ed piece, probably in The Chicago Tribune, about books. It was talking about how books aren't as good for adults as children, that they lose some of their luster. The analogy was that someone could never make coffee as good as when he fell in love with it. I have to agree. As much as I still love reading, it doesn't captivate me like it once did. When I was a kid, I could read for hours without having the slightest notion of what was going on around me. I can remember once reading a book on the living room couch. When I put it down, I found out all of these things had happened, right in front of me, while I was reading. I couldn't believe I was THAT engrossed. Now, nothing captivates me like that (except maybe sleep and even that's iffy). I get distracted so easily by the slightest noise or flash of light or color. I miss those days where something could have my complete attention instead of fighting with every other sense and thought.
Ahh well. Maybe it's sleep deprivation. And at least the Cornell Hockey Team (Let's. Go. Red.) SLAUGHTERED Clarkson (sucks!) tonight. I wish I could have been there - I hear it was a great game.
- Lizzardie, at 10:10 PM
|
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
|
You know I don't have a lot to do when I update from work, because despite all of the news reading and online shopping and errandy things I do here, I like to draw the line at blogging. But my fellow analysts are in a meeting and I gotta admit, I'm quite bored right now. So blogging it is.
So, I have thought about blogging in the last few weeks, really I have. But I gotta say, my heart just hasn't been in it. There are other things I'd rather do, plus I've been feeling like I don't really say what I want to say here. And no one reads this. I've considered linking my blog places, such as Thefacebook or my AIM profile, but to be honest, right now I don't know that I want more people reading my blog. So I'm going to continue with the few but faithful readers I have now (if there are any still). I think that every blog I read has said this some time or another, so maybe my "I don't really feel like blogging because there are things I can't say and the things I can aren't interesting" phase will pass. You should, though, really check out Kat's blog, because I think it's super interesting, even though she just started it. Pretty random, but a fun read. I should tell her that, since I don't think she knows I read it. I'll fix that. And hopefully she won't mind me giving her a plug. :-)
Back to other things relating to me (because this is my blog, after all). I went skiing again a little over a week ago. I gotta tell you, I just love getting up at 5:00am to do this (not really). But it was a lot of fun and I feel that having gone twice this year has really helped my ability. This time, I took a lesson and learned how to ski parallel (major accomplishment - no more snow-plowing). I also only fell once (and only because someone collided with me) - if you know anything about my excursion back in January, you might be as excited about this as I am. Next year, I'd like to buy a real ski jacket, get the season rental thing and grand slam lift package for Mt. Loon (4 non-consecutive days of skiing during the season), use longer skis and take one or two more lessons. Perhaps in the winter after that I'll be so in love with skiing that I'll get a season pass and buy my own skis. :-) Susan and I also stopped at the NH State liquor store, where I purchased liquor to stock my supplies - Bombay Sapphire, Stoli, Stoli Vanil, Jameson and YET ANOTHER BOTTLE OF WINE. My wine purchasing problem is really getting out of hand.
This past weekend was another trip back to Ithaca. I love Ithaca, I really do, but I'd rather stick around Boston during the weekends. The trip just exhausts me. Anyhow, at least this trip was better than the one 2 weeks ago. It started on Thursday, and quite accidentally, earlier than I thought. Early afternoon on Thursday I managed to spill a cup of water onto my work laptop, which it did not take too well to. Everyone assured me that it probably just needed to dry, and so I took the afternoon off, putting me in Ithaca around 8:00pm (some fast driving made the trip into 5 hours). I just love the look of surprise on everyone's face when they don't know I'm going to be there. :-P So I watched The Apprentice with the people in the house and then went to Stella's to get drinks with Demetri - I had a Drunken Hemingway, my favorite, and a Blueberry Mojito, which was really yummy. The weekend was actually made fun by silly small group things like that, as opposed to the big events of the weekend - Initiation, the Banquet and the party. Friday I went to the mall and the wine store (complete with a free tasting and buying MORE WINE - yikes!) with Morgan, Diana and Demetri; Friday night was Jon Stewart (hilarious, despite the migraine that was starting), Friday night after my migraine was some frat philosophy discussion time, Saturday Liz H and I went to Wegman's to get actual "awkward" cheese and crackers (multi-colored goldfish crackers count as awkward, right?) and Saturday night Kathy and I kidnapped Demetri, drove over a barrier we shouldn't have, cut off a police car, drove around a rotary a few times and burned things. I also jumped in front of Scott's car (err, Scott driving Julie's car), which he did not appreciate. :-P Thursday night was the most drinking I did all weekend (there was sporadic beer and wine consumption, but nothing major) so I managed to go through the whole weekend without being hungover, which was definitely helpful. And then I was exhausted when I got back.
And then yesterday, I hung curtains! Seriously, I'm not sure why homey things like this excite me, but they do. I would consider myself only half-successful with the power drill (borrowed from Karen) because the curtains and holdbacks are up, but not without a few extra holes in my walls. Ahh well - the curtains hide them. And I have scarves for the windows and a new duvet cover and a bed skirt on their way... and soon I'll buy a nice bedroom set with at least a headboard, hopefully a frame, and a dresser and a nightstand and lamp.... omg, I'm so pathetic. I also want living room furniture and curtains for the living room... I really can't help myself. It's a good thing the money doesn't flow that freely because otherwise I'd be tempted to go out and buy all of that this weekend. Instead I'll be slow and patient.
My other domestic endeavor yeseterday was quite successful, though. I cooked Chicken with Mustard Mascarpone Marsala Sauce (lots of "m" things there) and it's really really good. The recipe can be found on the Food Network's website. Cooking this meant purchasing Marsala wine, which was luckily no trouble, even though I did so at the evil Star Market that previously wouldn't accept my ID. Had it been an issue, I think I would have raised even more hell than I did the last time, because no one actually DRINKS Marsala wine, they only cook with it, so really, what the hell would I be trying to do? It's amazing how bitter I am about this whole ID rejection thing.
My student loan saga with Citibank seems to be almost straightened out, if you've been following that ridiculous saga. I really, really hate them these days. Grrr.
On this weekend's agenda: clean my room! And sleep! This may not sound very exciting but it is after 3 straight busy, sleepless weekends! Whee!
- Lizzardie, at 11:28 AM
|
|
