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Thursday, July 25, 2002
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Uhh, so I just noticed (after I posted this last post) that the post I made yesterday was lost. I'm going to attempt to recreate it, as best as I can.
I made glazed carrots yesterday. They were really good. I was kinda surprised that they were so good, since it was mixing pepper and sugar, but I was definitely pleasantly surprised. I've been making an effort to cook my own foods, from scratch, lately, when I have the time. Usually I center around fresh fruits and vegetables, though. I need to move on to meat, at some point.
GC was a lot of fun, even though there were a few things that didn't go the way I anticipated them to. So many stories. I would type them out, only I know that they would lose their meaning. Somehow, though, I don't look back on sitting through a meeting that went from 9am to 1:30am, with only breaks for lunch and dinner, as being bad. And Beta Nu had great peanuts. Every few hours or so, Crystal or Will or Herb would bring Helen and me food! Yay for them! Other stories revolve around discussion on my cleavage, a wet tshirt contest, a cow in the audience, poker (Beta Nu style) and a whole lotta time in the car. I can't wait until National Convention in November (Pittsburgh, here we come!).
Yeah, so I don't think the post has the same effect as it did yesterday, when I wasn't racking my brain to remember what I wrote, but whatever.
- Lizzardie, at 12:17 AM
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"No good deed goes unpunished." I try not to live my life by this pessimistic outlook. I like to think that when I make an effort to do something to benefit other people that it will not be looked upon poorly. It makes me feel good to know that I'm making a positive difference in other people's lives. Lately, though, I really don't think my efforts to do so are succeeding. It's been a long time since I've felt taken advantage of, but that feeling is coming back to me. Half of my time is spent running around like a mad woman, not for me, but for the benefit of other people. And not only do I feel like I'm being walked over, I also feel as if some people wished I wasn't making the effort. Negative effects should not come out of good intentions. Because I do have good intentions. I want to bring a smile to someone's face, everyday. But today and yesterday and other days, well, I just feel like a nuisance. I really hope I'm not. It would just add to the evidence building up that everything I've strived for in the last couple years has been lost. And I've worked so hard - I don't want it to be for nothing.
- Lizzardie, at 12:11 AM
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Sunday, July 14, 2002
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All right, so the not-so-great week at work was slightly made up for today. That's good. I'm not happy about the dent in my car that I got yesterday because someone (that I know) opened a car door onto it, but I guess I'll live. You just tend to freak out (or at least I do) when the number of dents in your car doubles. Damn it all.
The rest of the day could have been like any day in the semester, though. Sat down to a ridiculously long Phi Sigma Pi meeting (discussing the amendments proposed to the National Constitution and other GC madness), then I went bowling (which I suck at, did I mention that? but I actually played!) and then to the Arts Quad for midnight soccer (which I also suck at, because I haven't kicked a soccer ball in years). I think there's going to be some Taughannock fun tomorrow, woohoo! And I really REALLY want to play tennis soon - I haven't played in two years, I think - my racket is getting so dusty!
There's so much left to do before we leave for GC Wednesday night. Some of you may remember that I used to be pretty anal about packing - making lists of what I'm packing, being pretty much packed at least a week before I leave, etc.... I think I'll be packing Wednesday afternoon. And buying food on Wednesday. And getting my car all ready on Wednesday (not that there's much to get ready). It's good thing I'm not working on Wednesday. Yeah.
Back to Saturday night, uhhh.... CLEANING now. Woohoo. Maybe I'll make myself another milkshake. Here's one to try - bananas, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, milk, in a blender. YUMMMMM!!!!
- Lizzardie, at 12:39 AM
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Friday, July 12, 2002
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Why am I so sad??? I hate when I feel like this because it makes me go all weird and depressed and gloomy and just drives me up a wall because I so much rather feel happy and glad and cheerful and ready to tackle the world because I know I can do great things only right now I totally question whether it's all worth it or not because what the hell am I do here?
Now that I've finished that stream of consciousness run-on, here are the only good things that I can think of as of right now, and *gasp* they're all countdowns!
- 6 days until Grand Chapter in Knoxville, Tennessee and all the great Phi Sigma Pi motivating-make-me-want-to-come-back-to-Cornell-and-Beta-Nu-and-kick-ass spirit!
- 17 days until I get my license back and I never have to let anyone drive my car again, and believe me, I won't be. Forget all the people I've let drive my car, you'll have to be pretty damn responsible (in my eyes) and it had better be a special situation for me to hand over those keys once the suspension is over.
- 28 days until I turn 21 and am all legal. I just want to order wine with dinner, not feel guilty about casually drinking a Smirnoff with friends and not have driving off-limits because maybe I had a drink 2 hours ago, despite the fact that I'm not at all intoxicated.
I'm not looking forward to that drive home in 29 days, but I guess I'll live.
And tomorrow is a new day, so I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be my happy and cheerful self and everything will be good, because dammit I said so!
Or at least that's what my bedtime wish is..... =/
- Lizzardie, at 1:47 AM
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Thursday, July 11, 2002
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*YAWN* I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend, where I'm going to be mad productive, especially because I won't be here next weekend (the whole Tennessee trip - woohoo!). I'm so tired right now, and it's cold outside! It was 90 degrees all last week and now I come home and the only thing I want to do is turn OFF my fan, whereas last week I was sad because I didn't HAVE my fan. YIKES!
Andrew wrote a dissertation on the quote that's on my IM profile: "Fear creates a tight fist. Nothing can go into a fist. If the hand is open, it can receive everything." You should check out the dissertation and my response on Andrew's livejournal (hopefully he'll approve of my linking it here). I won't go into the meaning of the quote here, because it's already well taken care of there. And what the hell, I've seemed to have forgotten basic html, because I totally messed up the italics when I commented there, and just now I couldn't remember how to put a link in!
I had something else I wanted to say yesterday, but now I can't remember. Work has sucked a lot, lately, though. I'm hoping it'll get better, and before Wednesday, since I have 4 days off, yikes!
That's all for now.
- Lizzardie, at 11:05 PM
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Tuesday, July 09, 2002
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Of course I haven't updated in a week. That always happens. If it makes anyone feel any better, I think about updating often, just never get around to it.
So how has my week been? Okay, I guess. I saw Men in Black II on the 4th, which was cool, though the first was much better (ahh, I still remember seeing that in the theatres - those were the days). Other than that, not much of a holiday celebration. I got to see the fireworks up by Ithaca College on Wednesday, which was nice. Anyone who wants to create a silver/white/gold fireworks show for me that has lots of the sizzling fireworks, I'll love you forever. That's my dream fireworks show.
I've been spending a lot of time trying to get ready for Grand Chapter. Let's just say that right now, I'd like to take my car and just drive down there, pick up to three people to go with me (out of the other 6 going) and just forget about everyone else, because it's so damn frustrating to figure out how to get 7 people down to Tennessee in such a way that we're not putting an unfair burden on anyone. I've already volunteered my car, what more can I do? Of course, life doesn't work that way, everyone would be mad at me if I did that, and I would never do that to my friends anyways. But I hope everyone realizes how stressed this has made me and how selfish so many people are. Grrrr.
In more exciting news, I did a lot of cleaning of my room today. More decorations went up, though there's still a long way to go. It's funny, though - looking at a semi-clean room just makes me want to make a mess right now. So weird. Ohh, and news on my little mini-garden: I'm seeing the first shoot in one of the strawberry plants!!! Yay!!! I've totally had some setbacks, though - one of the pots (small plastic one) fell off my balcony, and I had to replant. But I think I'm seeing some growth on the basil plant, too, and on the other flower that I don't know the name of. Woohoo!
I paused a moment today to think of my love life, or lack thereof today. I'll give you the little update. First of all, I so want out of the Single's Club. Nevermind the free dinners - that's great and all, but it's so damn depressing. Everyone else is breaking it left and right and they just find it amusing, meanwhile I'm constantly reminded that I haven't gotten any action since February (it was actually a while before then, but February is when the Single's Club was formed). Grrr. I was also realizing that it's been awhile since anyone has expressed their devotion to me online. I actually hate when guys do that (why pick such bad times to pour your heart out to me? Why tell me at a time when you know nothing can come of it?), but it used to be a fairly regular occurence - once every 3 or 4 months, on average. And when was the last time a guy expressed his devotion to me in person? Ohh, wait, let's just forget about that because it's never happened.
All right, my digression is over now. I don't know why I did that. Normally I try not to focus on relationship-type stuff, but every once in awhile....you all know how it goes.
I think it's back to working on my room. Maybe I'll try and play with the icicle lights and figure out why a third of the strand isn't lighting up.
(This post is dedicated to Bela, the greatest guinea pig I've ever known. You'll be missed.)
- Lizzardie, at 11:10 PM
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Monday, July 01, 2002
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My sister (Becky, since that phrase is of course ambiguous when it comes to me) has way too many screen names. How am I to effectively block her when she keeps changing the name she uses???
Today was one of those days where it should have been good, but wasn't. You know those people that no matter how much you kick ass at something on a certain day, they always find a way to make you feel like you didn't do nearly good enough? I mean, granted, I know very well that there's always room for improvement (I've said this many many times before). But I'm also all for positive criticism and constructive criticism. Positive comments are so important, and if I don't get any, I become apathetic. And because I got so much negative criticism, I don't really look back on my day with many postive feelings.
Weekend was good, though. Herb was in town, so he organized BBQing/camping at Treman. I love that park. I've now (finally) been to a lot of the parks around here, and I think this is my favorite. It has the greatest waterfall at the upper part of the park. And I finally got to see it during daylight (park closes at dark, but the only other time I'd been to the upper part was at, oh, 2am, a coupla months ago)! I'm not normally a camping person, but it was with friends, so yay. We made s'mores. =) I didn't get much sleep, though, because of Crystal snoring, but whatever. And McDonald's breakfast afterwards, too! (We forgot to buy stuff for breakfast.) Then yesterday we all went to Bolcar's to watch a nice bootlegged copy of The Lord of the Rings and to play poker. I'm supposed to feel bad because I was watching a bootlegged version of a good movie without ever paying to see it in the theatres, but the timing was never right for me to go! And I lost 65 cents playing poker, damn.
It is now way too hot here. I want my window fan back! (I loaned it out why? Oh yeah, because I'm a good friend.) At least I have a completely frozen block of ice smoothie to keep me company.
- Lizzardie, at 11:05 PM
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