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Wednesday, March 31, 2004
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Ahh, Wednesday. At least there's a new West Wing on tonight.
I just got done with a phone interview for a company called Gotham Consulting. This interview came about because I finally broke down and started applying for jobs outside of Boston (New York in this case). Less than 2 hours after I sent in my resume for this position, I had an interview. Why does that not happen with all these jobs I'm applying for in Boston? Anyway, it was a case study interview, and I can never tell how those go. It wasn't terrible at least, and the guy seemed genuinely interested in me, so hey, we'll see. I still don't want to live in New York, but I wouldn't be so much with this job because I'd be traveling 4 days out of every week. Ahh, we'll see.
Other than that, life is.... eh. I'm still not feeling well, though somewhat better. Why isn't my amoxicillin making me all better after 2 days? Am I destined to have a sore throat for the rest of my life? Yuck. It's making it hard to get any work done because all I want to do (and need to do, really) is rest. But whatever. I'll just be really tired and rest up this weekend.
My project is making me have violent thoughts again. Just when I was starting to feel like we were making progress.... We met yesterday, and I learned that one of our group members lied to us (or at least to me). Yeah, I just checked... about a week and a half before Spring Break, the one guy emailed us and told us he would not be able to work on the project over Spring Break because his dad bought him tickets to fly to see him in India. No big deal, right, except this was the guy who kept insisting that we would all have to be here over break and we all agreed we would stay to work on the project. But since he had no control over the decision to fly to India, we all understood. Well, yesterday, when we all met up again, we (or I, I can't really tell anymore) learned that he did not go to India over break, he went and partied in DC and Florida with his friends. I want to strangle him. Not only that, but he said he would do work before he left and didn't. And, the rest of the team was supposed to spend time putting everything together over break, but we didn't and everyone started going off and doing their own thing, so I'm very not confident about our results. Argh. I can't wait until this is over.
And now I need a nap.
- Lizzardie, at 12:24 PM
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Monday, March 29, 2004
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So I don't have mono, but Gannett actually put me on antibiotics (and didn't tell me that I'm pregnant). They think I had a viral infection that developed into a secondary bacterial infection. I think this is the first time I've been on antibiotics since I had bronchitis senior year of high school. Let's hope the amoxicillin and sudafed/robitussin-like pills they gave me make me feel better.
I don't think I mentioned that I managed to fix the stove by myself. The pilot light went out again, and this time, at the risk of burning off my arm, I attempted to re-light it myself. I managed to get it re-lit, but then it went out right away (right in front of my eyes). So after a few more attempts on Saturday, I gave up for the night and went and bought more Ben and Jerry's. But then last night, I decided to try again and it worked! So now I get my French bread pizzas.
I just got a call back on one of the positions I applied for, but it's not what I thought and I don't think it would be right for me. That's all I'll say on that, but I'm hoping it's a sign that I'm going to start hearing from more companies.
I didn't go to class this morning because of the whole needing to go to Gannett thing, so maybe I should start working on the problem sets I've been putting off all of Spring Break. Whoo.
- Lizzardie, at 2:08 PM
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Dan, you're the 1am hour. But that doesn't mean we can't talk at 2am, too! :-) And I'll look aroud for more embarassing pictures of you.... I think I know just the one... ;-)
Anyway, Spring Break is over and I have to go back to classes tomorrow. Unfortunately, I'm still sick. I'm starting to get pretty concerned, since the sore throat is back and that means instead of feeling better after 2 weeks, I'm still feeling pretty bad. I guess it's time for a visit to Gannett. I'd been going through a list of possible illnesses I could have, and I thought I had ruled them all out... I was never sick enough for strep throat or bronchitis. Amy suggested tonight that I might have mono, though, and my symptoms match up pretty well with that being a possibility. I guess if I do have that, I'm lucky that I'm not more fatigued.
After working most of the week on my project, it might actually be coming together. Unfortunately, there is still so much work for the analysis I've been doing. I wonder if it will ever end.
I talked to my parents yesterday. The conversation with my dad consisted of him telling me to go see a doctor and complaining about Maggie. I brushed off complaints of the puppy on her being a puppy (apparently she's a barker) but I am of course heeding his urges for medical care. The conversation with my mom consisted of taxes and jobs. I'm really hoping she'll get my tax stuff to me at least a few days before April 15 so that I have adequate time to prepare state returns. As far as jobs... the conversation made me more determined to follow through with what I want and continue searching for a job in Boston. Even if I don't get one before graduation, I believe that I will put my stuff into storage here and then go home and continue searching for jobs in Boston from Illinois. Phone interviews make that a reasonable plan. And I'm pretty confident that I can live for a few months like that since my parents will have no choice but to feed me. I have a car, so maybe I'll get a job temping if it comes down to it. But if I get a job offer before graduation, even if it doesn't start until August, you can bet I'll find an apartment with a lease starting end of May/beginning of June. Maybe after I move I'll visit home for a little bit, but I'll be happy to just spend some time settling in.
All right, I should get to bed so that I can be somewhat awake for my 9:05 tomorrow....
- Lizzardie, at 12:32 AM
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Saturday, March 27, 2004
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I should note that I have no control over the advertisements presented on my comment boxes.
- Lizzardie, at 8:57 PM
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So the webpage is pretty well updated, now. In case you normally link to this individually, the homepage is http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/ej27. You should check it out and tell me what you think! I'll be working on it some more, but it's in pretty good shape. I learned how to use frames!
- Lizzardie, at 1:30 AM
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Friday, March 26, 2004
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Real quick: Yes, I've changed my template. It's part of a complete overhaul of my entire webpage. It's a work in progress, and some things are still a little weird, but I'm trying to fix it. Bear with me. I'll miss the pink, but I think the blue and black is more me, and the whole webpage will be more consistent in color. Stay tuned.
- Lizzardie, at 1:46 AM
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Thursday, March 25, 2004
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Lalala, waiting for some analysis to run. I really hate being in my office - it's way too quiet here this week with no one around. At least I have my laptop and MP3's, woohoo (speaking of: I have 2 iTunes credits if anyone knows what songs I should get, suggestions are welcome). I have some organizing that I could do, but I'd much rather do it at home. Cat couldn't figure out why I've been coming in here everyday from 3pm until 8pm, until I explained that the members of the group who are around split up the day, and the other options were 10am to 3pm and 8pm to 1am. Yeah.
I've been really frustrated this week. Between the neverending project of hell and not getting any interviews, much less job offers, I have no idea what the hell I'm working toward anymore. My goal was to have a job and start sometime in June. I could get an apartment starting at the end of May/beginning of June, move my stuff in and maybe go home for a little bit before I start working. But I have no place to go as of now.... so maybe I just have to go home? I really don't want to do that, and I have no idea what I'd do with my stuff in that case. Before I bought my full-sized bed and my big leather desk chair, my stuff fit into my car in 3 trips. Now I have the big bed and chair and I don't think they'll fit into my little car AT ALL! I could rent a moving truck, I guess, but it seems pointless if I'm going to end up out east (my ultimate goal), and what would I do with my car? Argh. I guess there's storage.
I think defeated sums up my entire attitude. I feel like if I go home after 5 years out here and I have no job, then I've failed. And I don't know what to do differently. And NO ONE is supportive anymore it seems. I'm getting the usual, you'll find something, you deserve to find something, blah blah blah. Or the, you whine too much, response. All I really want, though, is for someone to give me a hug and tell me that they love me anyway, regardless of what happens. But I'm beginning to think that something like that should also go on the evergrowing list of things I'll never have.
I just don't know what I can do differently. I'm doing the job thing the proper way, I've retooled my resume and cover letter, I spend hours scouring websites for jobs. I must have submitted my resume to over one hundred positions by now, and I have nothing to show for it. And I gotta say, as far as I'm concerned, if I'm not finding anything, then I don't deserve the jobs I'm applying for, and furthermore, I'm not looking hard enough.
I've been told my attitude towards life is self-defeating, but I honestly don't know how to look at things any other way. Nor do I even understand what's so self-defeating about my attitude. Let's just start throwing more things on the pile of misery I've got going.
My analysis is not done running yet, but I'm going to cry if I write anymore right now.
- Lizzardie, at 5:34 PM
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Tuesday, March 23, 2004
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I want to go to bed soon, but I'm finishing a glass of wine that I stole from Cat, so I might as well write.
I got back from Boston this evening. It was a nice little mini-vacation because I had nothing better to do and Liz Hartman needed a ride for an interview. We left on Saturday morning at the ungodly hour of 8:00am, because Herb wanted us to arrive at his house so that we could all go to the Harvard Museum of Natural History. We did indeed arrive by two, but of course there was no museum, because no one was motivated enough to get up and go. Eventually we did get up and headed over to Harvard Square, but just to look around for awhile. Jeff wanted to buy the Balderdash board game, so we were on a quest for that. Having failed, we went to Chili's for dinner. Afterwards, we stopped in this sweet store, because Cheryl (a friend of Herb and Jeff's) really likes sugar, as do I. I purchased a few Chupa Chups, along with a magnet button and a bumper sticker thing (which will not go on my car).
The magnet says: "We have charts and graphs to back us up so fuck off."
The sticker says: "I spend 50% of my life looking for my keys."
I feel they adequately sum up my life. Anyway, we went back to Herb and Jeff's where there was a rousing game of Cranium, along with some wine (Ruffino Chianti Classico Ducale, 1997 Riserve - those who know wine know that this is really good Italian wine). Liz Hartman, Cheryl and I (the girls team) gave Herb, Jeff and John (another friend of Herb and Jeff's) a good whooping. Liz and I rock at the word stuff, I can mold stuff out of clay, Liz can hum songs and Cherly rocks at charades. The real victory was in the "Club Cranium" questions where everyone participates and we regularly won. Okay, that's kind of dull. Because Liz had to go to bed, we didn't play anymore games, but we did a few individual Cranium cards for fun after that. Then bedtime, with a plan of getting up early the next morning to go to the Boston Museum of Science.
Sunday came, and, well, no Herb waking up, which meant no Museum of Science. I was pretty annoyed for awhile (I spent several hours awake and ready to go with very little to do - had I known I'd have all afternoon to myself, I might have found something to do), but once everyone was up, Jeff made breakfast (which we ate at 4:00pm) - blueberry pancakes from scratch, scrambed eggs, bacon and sausage. It was really yummy. Then there was some general hanging out and whatnot, before we went to pick Liz up from her interview and went to see Dawn of the Dead. If you like zombie movies, gushing blood and cannibalism, I guess this movie is for you, but not for me. We tried to go to Trivia Night at The Thirsty Scholar, but it had already started and there wasn't a free table in the entire place, so we headed back to Herb's. Herb made dinner for us (spaghetti and meat sauce) and there was more wine and trivial pursuit questions. We all once again went to bed relatively early (especially considering I didn't go to bed the last time Herb visited Ithaca). Today we got up and met Jeff at John Harvard's for lunch, and then headed back to Ithaca.
Every time I go to Boston (okay, Somerville and Cambridge, since we didn't go into the city, other than me having to drive through part of it to get to Herb's), I keep wanting to not leave. I keep thinking to myself, "I can't wait to live here." I try and learn my way around and I take note of what's there and what is cool and what I want to do, etc... I now know my way to Herb's without looking at the directions, and from there can get to Porter, Harvard, Union and Central Squares (and of course he lives at Inman Square). That means I can get to the T, get into Boston, and I know the Park Ave area reasonably well. It is such a fabulous city, and it's probably good that I went there, because it makes me want to get busy and find a job, which is definitely a good thing. I know I'll be there in May to give my final presentation for my project, but I hope other than that, the next time I go is to look for an apartment.
Yeah, so the rest of Spring Break will be project work. The group has scheduled times, and I will be working in the office from 3pm to 8pm every day, which I guess is fine by me, but I think we really need to get together and start putting things together on Thursday. But whatever, I'll continue to do what I can. Hopefully I'll do some cleaning and organizing around here, and get some errands done as well. And sleep! I've been having trouble because of being ill (yes, still sick, it's been more than a week already) but I've gotta stop taking medication to help me sleep. I refuse to get hooked to it. Anyway, time to finish the glass of wine and hit the sack!
- Lizzardie, at 12:48 AM
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Friday, March 19, 2004
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Not much is going on right now, so I thought I'd write again. :-) I haven't done a damn thing all week. Other than go to class, of course. Unfortunately, no poker this week. Herb did show me this addictive gold mine game tonight, though. Whatever you do, DO NOT go to www.i-am-bored.com. I have yet to go to the actual site, but all of the addictive games Herb sends me come from there. I proctored an exam tonight, and there was no poker this week. I leave for Boston with Liz Hartman Saturday morning (the ungodly hour of 8am) - we'll be there through the weekend. Herb has said we're going to the Harvard Museum of Natural History, and Jeff has said something about maybe a wine bar. Then project work all next week. Hopefully also cleaning and job searching.
The most remarkable thing about this week was the reading. I have all these 19th century novels on my shelf that I've never read, so I picked one up. I finished reading Mansfield Park last night (last 20 pages - surprisingly, I never expected what came!). Today I started Emma. It's nice to be able to have time to read!
Last night there was a little reunion with the girls formerly from 202 Stewart Ave. I went over to Kat and Susan's place for this year, and Heather came over, too. We ate mousse and drank red wine (Chianti) and watched The Thomas Crown Affair - our favorite movie to watch together. It was a nice, relaxing reunion. Quote of the night:
Heather: "This is the best part of the movie." (Referring to the scene in the art gallery when the painting is returned)
Liz: "It can't be the best part - no one is naked in it."
I love my old roommates. :-)
All right, I guess I should try and sleep. Class tomorrow and I should get in a habit of sleeping early so that I can get up early on Saturday to drive 6 hours. And I'm going to have fun there!
- Lizzardie, at 12:04 AM
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Tuesday, March 16, 2004
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I have no actual "due" work until after Spring Break (which starts Saturday, technically) so I thought this would be a good time to update. There is of course lots of project work and Ryan wants me to update the Tome so yeah, there is stuff to do still.
I've been sick the last few days, gotta love that. I don't know that I should be happy that I got sick at a non-busy time, or if I should be bummed that I haven't been able to properly relax because of the damn illness. I guess I should be happy that I'm not sicker and that it hasn't affected my studies too much.
Project is... crazy, still. Lucky us, the computer decided to go whacko on us and lock out our username, so instead of giving us an administrative password, ADI decided that they needed to see the computer, so we had to ship it back to Boston. It was gone or unusable for an entire week, which is a pretty big setback to us, but most of us will be around for Spring Break, so that is a blessing, I guess. Whee! Lots of work. The computer came back today, so we'll be working hard on that this week, I guess.
Spring Break.... it looks like I'm going to Boston for a few days. I need to get away from here for at least a mini vacation, given my stress level, and Liz Hartman needs a ride there for an interview. So the two Liz's will descend upon the Wyatt House (the name of the house that Herb lives in) for some fun. I haven't figured out any details of this trip, including when we are actually going, but it should be fun.
Other than that... a week and a half ago was Founders Day, so that was good times. Herb, Bolcar and Helen were in town, which is always nice. The weekend was fun, but I think it could have been better had more planning been put into it for our 10th Founders Day. At any rate, I stayed up all night Friday, so I'm not sure how I managed to have fun on Saturday having gotten no sleep. I was surprisingly awake, though. Initiation and lunch at Appel (one of the initiates bonused me in), then Herb and Will came back to my apartment (we were joined a little later by Bolcar) and we watched Conan the Barbarian. As blood spurted everywhere, they cheered and I cringed. Whee. Family Feud came in the afternoon, which was cool, though my family came in 3rd out of 4. The two Herbcar teams took first and second. There were some fun and ridiculous questions, but the setup was really good. The four alumni served as various team captains which worked out well. I brought the alumni back to my apartment after that so that we could get ready for the Banquet at the Statler. We decided that we should give a joint speech, but couldn't figure out what to talk about and how to make it entertaining (keep in mind this is an hour before the banquet). We finally settled on doing the improv game known sometimes as the Oracle or the Three-Headed Monster (4 in our case) where each person says one word at a time to form a sentence. The sentences would answer questions about the chapter fielded from the audience. It turned out really well, better than any of us anticipated, I think, and everyone was really amused. We did a couple of serious questions at the end (out of oracle mode). Food at the Statler was decent, though probably not worth what the banquet cost. There was a party afterwards, at Dana and Alexis's place. Herb and I brought wine, of course, because that's what we do. There's this ridicilous picture of me in a party hat that I'll have to post sometime. And cigars - I smoked cigars with Herb and Bolcar and Will and Caitlyn, which was fun. I didn't get the "good" Cuban cigars (Cohibas) because I'm a girl, apparently, but I did get a Cuban cigar that I enjoyed very much. Cigar smoking is a terrible habit. After the party, Herb and Bolcar and I came back to my apartment to watch a little West Wing and eat DP Dough (Wings over Ithaca was closed). I fell asleep in my chair, only to be rudely awoken and sent to my bed a little while later. My bed was freezing (from keeping the window open a crack) and I did not sleep well that night at all. Ahh well.
So that was Founders Day Weekend. And Spring Break coming up. And me getting better. And poker night tonight (maybe I'll win money!). And meetings. And job hunting (ugh - when will I find something). That's about all.
- Lizzardie, at 3:21 PM
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Thursday, March 04, 2004
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I'm seriously only posting this to give Cat some publicity, but it's the most ridiculous quiz ever. Ryan made it up, so the fact that it's ridiculous is no surprise. Cat's site is here if you want to know what the quiz is referring to.
You're about. You are the informative part of the
website which explains who Cat is and what she
likes. Although you're brief at the moment,
she's really a complex character to explain and
you do your best.
Which of Cat's colored condoms are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
- Lizzardie, at 12:37 AM
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Wednesday, March 03, 2004
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I only posted this because I went to Ryan's 21st Birthday Party, which was Lord of the Rings themed (his mom lives 20 minutes from Ithaca and she threw it, for those who don't know), as Eowyn. This was a year and a half ago, but you know, I still have the scavenger hunt items in my car!
- Lizzardie, at 8:32 PM
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Monday, March 01, 2004
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I was talking to Dan about blogs just a little bit of go, and I felt guilty, so I'm updating. Look at me update. Woo.
Things are a little better on the project front. My advisor is really great. During our weekly meeting last Monday, he put me a little at ease, but picking up on our frustration and continuing to remind us that yes, our project is really difficult, but that it's going to be really great. He also talked about how even if we don't meet the company's objectives, we've accomplished something if we've met our own. Good. But THEN, on Tuesday... you know it's funny how events line up to be good even when you think that they suck. I left my cell phone in class. This caused me to go on a frantic search for it, before getting an email from my professor saying he'd found a cell phone. So, feeling like an idiot, I run over to his office. On the way, I run into my advisor, who asked if I had a few minutes to talk. We talked about group dynamics and how I can improve things and how he purposely sets up teams so that there are character conflicts so that we learn from working in different situations. He also thinks there may be some culture conflicts as well (i.e., me talking way more loud than I should around my group members). It made me feel a WHOLE LOT better about my project, especially because he approached me with the problems I've been having for so long. In fact, last week in general was great. It started Sunday night when I found out that Herb had picked up my bracelet and sent it back with Liz Hartman, who'd been in Boston last weekend. That event set in motion a whole course of actions that concluded in me realizing not only that I'd truly been treating my friends like shit lately, even though they didn't deserve it, but I also figured out why. I've been getting told that in order to not feel sad, I just need to stop feeling sad. And I kept reiterating that in order for me to do that, I needed to know why I was feeling sad. Well, I seem to have figured it out and last week was so much easier than the rest of the semester has been.
Of course, until I flooded my kitchen last night. I guess you can't win them all, and despite me hating some aspects of my apt, other things are good.
So in honor of that, I give you a list of "Things I Can't Get Enough Of." This is a list, in no particular order, of things I'm generally obsessed with this semester. These obsessions keep me sane. :-)
- Blueberry bagels from CTB with cream cheese: This probably seems like a weird obsession. But I have a 9:05am class this semester, followed by a 10:10am class, and each day I walk into Hollister, some Civil Engineering society is selling bagels and coffee and whatnot. I was buying a blueberry bagel and cream cheese and a Snapple everyday before I realized I was spending too much money. So I bought a ton of blueberry bagels, and some cream cheese, from CTB and started bringing my Nalgene bottle. Now I'm spending less money.
- Cooking: Speaking of saving money, I've been trying to cook more this semester. It's healthier and cheaper, which is good. Plus I like putting dishes together, surprisingly. Now, if only the TV was in the kitchen.
- The West Wing: You knew this one was coming, so I might as well get it out of the way now. I watch like 3 episodes a day now - pretty crazy. Cat and Ryan hate it, but too bad for them!
- Alias: I do watch other things. And this is a great show - see Jennifer Garner kick all sorts of ass (and watch the sordid denied love affair between her and a really hot guy who's real name escapes me at the moment). I watched 3 episodes from the first season with Dan on Saturday, and that was great!
- Average Joe 2: Hawaii: I'm almost ashamed to admit this one, because I hate being a reality TV junky. But Cat likes it, too, and it's over tomorrow anyway. I wanted to watch one episode because there was a PSP alum on there (the carrot-top looking guy, David), but I got hooked. She seems genuine, and that helps.
- The Apprentice: (Are you noticing I'm a TV junkie this semester?) This one is reality TV, but more realistic and definitely more my style. You actually gotta be talented to stay on here, and it gives someone like me a bit of a tutorial on what to do and what not to do. And it emphasizes teamwork, which is the thing to do here at Cornell and for all the jobs I've been applying for. Plus it's suspenseful and deceitful, which always helps.
- Looking for a job: I'm not very good at this one, but I really really really want a job. And I really really want it to be in Boston. I really need to get out of Ithaca at this point. They say that 5 years and 100 miles makes a good Cornell alumnus/a - well, I want my time and my 350 miles. And I want to stop being poor and to stop having so much homework, and I want a regular sleep schedule. Who cares if work sucks.
- Kirigami: Ha, this one came out of nowhere. Kirigami, for those who don't know, is the Japanese art of cutting and folding, not to be confused with Origami. I got a page-a-day calendar that is Kirigami, so you just take the previous day's page, and fold it and cut it up! Into pretty designs! I'm using them to decorate my office, so that it won't be so boring, so that's good. It caused me to buy fun scissors and Demetri made fun of me.
- Cornell Hockey: Of course. I was really bad about going to games last semester, but I've been back with a vengeance! Hehehe. Seriously, despite having had to see the team lose twice (though one of those included a spectacular fight right in front of me) the team has really come through this year, despite predictions for it not to. After another 4-point weekend, we earned a first-round bye and a quarterfinal home-ice advantage for the ECAC playoffs! Yay! So either two or three more games for me before I leave Cornell. Let's Go Red! (See? I have school spirit.)
- Sleep: Yeah, this one's surprising. And I almost don't like it, because I have shorter days now, but I need my sleep. Since I really really like sleep, though, it's not so bad. I just have to make better use of my waking time.
I believe that's all. I was having trouble at the end. Other things to mention are that Bill Gates came to Cornell last week and I got to see him speak about CS in the future, and Founders Day is this weekend! Herb, Bolcar and Helen will all be here, and that makes me happy. :-)
That's all for now. Time for some of my precious sleep. :-)
- Lizzardie, at 2:06 AM
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