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Tuesday night was Girls' Night Out. I was a little skeptical, at first, even though the last Girls' Night Out was a lot of fun, just because I don't usually like hanging out with just girls (too much estrogen). But, I had a great time, and felt really good afterwards. This was really helpful for me because of what happened yesterday.
First, we met at Console on Broadway in Cambridge. I had never been there, but it turns out that it's this really delicious, really inexpensive Portuguese restaurant that I will definitely need to return to. The six of us (myself, Kristen, Cheryl, Jen, Natalie and Kara, who works with Jeff) had a pitcher of Sangria, a bottle of wine, two appetizers, an entree each, one flan and a bottle of house wine, all for $150, including tip. Highly recommend this place.
Anyhow, when I got there, none of the girls were there (they had gone to get pedicures beforehand and I needed to run some errands), but Johnny was. Johnny was the first to suggest I come to Sally's the next night, even though I've made it clear that I can't go. He brushed off all of my reasons for not going, and I said I'd think about it.
This was a trend throughout the evening. I showed my Italy pictures, we all talked, Kristen's friend Laura arrived, we heard about her recent engagement, we all talked, we moved the festivities to Sally's (ahh, a Sapphire and tonic at a reasonable price, ohh, how I've missed it!), etc... The conversation turned to the poker game that I no longer attend, which is usually upsetting to me - not because they go, but because I "can't". And they all put off my reasons for not going.
By the end of Tuesday night, I'd decided I'd had enough. Everyone was right - I have every right to be there. Jen, who lives right down the street from where I work, offered to meet up beforehand, so we could go shopping, get dinner, whatever, and then head to the poker game together. I agreed that it sounded like a great plan. After all, it wasn't about causing trouble (which is why I've stayed away for so long anyway) or creating a scene, it was about having a good time with my friends, and not letting anything get in the way of that.
In the end, poker was canceled. I still went to the bar, and had a good time with Jen, Johnny and a few others. Even more importantly, I feel really good about a lot of things. Yesterday was a HUGE step for me. I hope I can continue to take those kinds of steps in the near (and not so near) future.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do next Wednesday, at this point. Whether or not there will be a poker game or not seems to be a little up in the air, anyway. But whatever happens, I think I'm ready for it.
Tonight's step: going to a Stitch 'n Bitch with people I've never met. Wish me luck!
- Lizzardie, at 2:11 PM
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