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I hope you're all ready for weeks of vacation photos once I have returned to my homey apartment (I'm too lazy right now). That's all I'm going to have!
So, today is Christmas. Merry Christmas. Please forgive me if I don't seem all that festive (lack of exclamation points should be the giveaway).
I'm not exactly sure what went wrong. I try very hard to not let the materialism of Christmas get to me, and focus more on the gift-giving than the gift-receiving. This is made a little difficult by my mother's insistence that I give her a long list by early October, but you know, that's just a bump in the road. And I think I ended up doing a pretty good job of getting gifts for people that they would be happy with. I even hand-picked jewelry for all of my sisters and my mom. I'm even happy with the gifts for Boston people (though I do have one last purchase - I know what it will be, though). Still, though, the Christmas spirit never found me.
12 hours of Christmas songs with Corinne when we went to Ithaca certainly didn't do the trick. A week of vacation before Christmas also didn't work. In fact, it sort of spoiled the only thing that has succeeded in putting me in the spirit the past several years - candlelight church services. I've been going on Christmas Eve since high school, and I very much missed it this year. I was trying to recall the feeling and I just wasn't able to. Hearing the Christmas story read, Pastor Suzanne's husband (Steve, my neighbor back in Romeoville) singing "Oh Holy Night," and of course my favorite, the candlelight singing of "Silent Night" - it just wasn't the same as being there and experiencing it. So Christmas never came to me.
I didn't sleep last night, really at all. I've been staying at a different place than my parent's and younger sisters, but they insisted that my other sister (also younger) and I stay there for Christmas Eve. My sleeping arrangements were not uncomfortable, but they were not comfortable either. So I've been grumpy all day. But the icing on the cake has been my sister being truly awful since she arrived the last four days. While I hate to complain (okay, I'm lying, but I do feel bad doing it), I do not recall actually doing anything wrong, but she's been saying what a "jerk" I am while at the same time lecturing my other sisters about how things would be much nicer if everyone was a little more pleasant. So at this point, I just want to go back to Boston, and I'm questioning whether I want to join my family for Christmas next year. As much as I do not get along with my family, I never thought I'd say that. I want to be alone (I've had no privacy for almost 8 days) and yet I feel lonelier than ever.
That being said, my Christmas takeaway for pretty good. There was the typical clothes and jewelry (it flows in my family - from the homemade to the funky to the expensive) and Starbucks gift cards, as well as the luggage I received at Thanksgiving, a 16-bottle wine cellar that is currently backordered and scheduled to arrive at the end of January, and a gorgeous Nativity set that will have to be shipped back to me. I also received The West Wing Season 5, Alias Season 4 and Lost Season 1.
I'm now tempted to pre-order Grey's Anatomy Season 1. At least I have the excuse of having missed most of those episodes.
- Lizzardie, at 10:56 PM
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