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I failed to acquire rooibos tea this weekend. And I'll be away next weekend.
Casablanca has been replaced.
Wouldn't it be nice if that was all of my weekend. I've said to so many people so many times that I like when it's quiet. That doesn't really lend itself to a "go-getter" personality, which I will be the first to admit I do not have. But ohh my, what I wouldn't give for things to just stand still once in awhile so that I may enjoy my life for what it is. Because if I can't enjoy my life, I don't know what else I have.
My roommates have informed me that they have a friend they want to move in with them. And the more I think about it, the more upset I become. For one thing, it was pretty clear that they've known about this for awhile and never gave me a head's up. And, this requires me signing the new lease (which starts June 1st) and then moving out September 1st. If they wanted that, it would have been good for them to consult with me about what the best option would be for all parties involved, instead of just telling me when to move. And I feel mislead. I've considered all day whether I should just not sign the lease and move at the end of May, but I don't think I'll do that. There are other options as far as people I know who are moving here for the end of the summer as opposed to the beginning of the summer.
I hate it SO MUCH. Every time I think about it, I think about how utterly horrible it was the first time around... the searching and finding the perfect apartment. And I love this place. And I keep trying to think of the sage advice and just not being upstet, but I can't help it.... where you live is part of who you are. I spend the largest portion of each day here, and I want it to be somewhere I feel totally comfortable. And I want to call someplace HOME, instead of feeling like I'm moving from place to place... to place... and now I feel like someone has turned everything I am upset down. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts keep running through my head about what I want to do, where I want to live, who I want to live with.... and for now I keep returning to the thought that one of the things that usually easily calms me down is to step outside, day or night and just stare at my street.... and now it feels foreign and uneasy again. So instead of getting to stare here, which has just about everything I could want in an apartment (except, apparently, great roommates)... I have to start all over again with a process I was hoping to not have to deal with for quite awhile. I don't have a home anymore.
As much as this pretty much permeates every thought I have right now, I will not entirely complain about my weekend. Friday night, I went to Christopher's with Karen and Ian and Herb.... 4 gin and tonics did me in of course, resulting in a hangover for Saturday. Not that it stopped me.... I walked to Harvard Square with Ian and Karen to get ice cream at Herrell's (Kentucky bourbon vanilla with hot fudge, pecans, whipped cream and a cherry... yum). I gotta say, the beautiful weekend was quite nice. Sunday I meandered around Davis Square and then later took a walk to Harvard Square and back to run an errand. My feet hurt afterwards, but the time outside and the exercise sure felt nice. Of course, it was cold again today and I had to bring the basil plant inside (it's supposed to be below zero overnight), but it really does look like Spring is here.
This weekend I'm going to NYC. Amy is having a party, which I'm happy attend. I'll also get to stay at her schwank new lower Manhattan apartment and at the very least, see Andrew for lunch on Saturday. Anyone else in the area interested in getting together? Let me know.
But for now, it's bedtime, and hopefully less wallowing about the damn apartment.
- Lizzardie, at 10:34 PM
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