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I'm "working" from home today. Thus far I've sorted my email. And done other non-work stuff.
Ahh, the weekend, which apparently, sorta, extends to today, Monday. I wish I could go back to sleep, but I think that would be pushing the work from home boundaries.
I got to go home early Friday, which was nice. I watched TV. And then, at 10:00pm, as I was winding down for a quiet weekend in, Susan invites me skiing for the next day. I've been wanting to go skiing for quite awhile, so I of course accept. And then she tells me we're leaving at 5:30am to drive 2 hours to New Hampshire. Oy.
We went to Mt. Loon in Lincoln, NH, which is in the White Mountains. As we drove farther north, the thermostat on Susan's car registered an increasingly negative temperature (-16 at one point). I began regretting the skiing decision. When we got to the mountain, though, I bought some more layers (ski pants and some more ski-type shirts) because everything in the ski shop was 40% off (can't be that). And I was plenty warm, though I could barely move. Ahh well.
So we get out onto the mountain. And I forgot how to ski. It was like when I first started. I couldn't move without falling. The good news to this was that I remembered how to get up again without taking off my skis (with all the layers, taking them off didn't help much anyhow) but pretty soon I was hurting. It was a good thing that I was so warm that sitting in the snow didn't bother me. Susan left me to go down and meet me again on the slope as I struggled to get down. When she found me again, I'd taken a pretty hard fall, popping one of my skis off. So I went to put it back on, and learned that the ski had broken. This day was not going well. My stomach was protesting too (not quite sure why).
So Susan went for help, and we got to ride down the slope in a sled, which was a great experience. The guy was on skis, pulling two of us straight downhill in a sled. I wish I could ski that well (at that point, I couldn't ski at all). I went to get a new set of rentals, and then into the lodge to drink some water. I sent Susan out to do another run while I took a break. And then I tried again, because after spending that much money, I wasn't about to give up that easily (though I felt like it).
Up to the top of the slope again (this, by the way, was the shortest, easiest of the slopes - they didn't have a real bunny slope, other than the rope pull thing). One thing to my credit is that I didn't fall getting off the lift once. Anyhow, at the top, I again struggled. I had managed to remember how to turn one way, but turning right was a problem, as my right leg wasn't quite ready to let my left do all the work. But I forced the right leg out of the snow to train it, and it happened - I remembered how to ski! It was kind of amazing how fast my skiing changed from falling to staying up right. I was deliriously happy.
So we skiid through the afternoon. We got to ride the superfast 4-person lift and the 4-person gondola lift. And we ate lunch at the Summit Lodge, which had a great view. After that run (some 1800 feet, I think) I was beat, and it was 3:00pm anyhow (the mountain closes at 4:00pm). So I told Susan to go ahead up again, but I was going to sit and drink water. I went inside, to learn that the snow estimates for Boston had been revised from 8-12 inches to 30 inches for that night, and it had already started snowing there. Oy. Susan's run only took 20 minutes (that same thing would have taken me an hour), so we headed out after that (we got to ride a train, since we had made it from one part of the moutain all the way to the other). And Susan got them to give me a free rental because of my trouble earlier, so I'm hoping to get back to that mountain one more time this season.
It's amazing how good ice cold water tastes, even when it's colder than ice cold outside.
The drive back wasn't that great, given the ever-deteriorating road conditions. But Susan got us back safely, and I then hybernated in my room, mostly sleeping from 8:30pm to 1:30pm the next day (I even took a nap later Sunday afternoon). There was much shoveling to do, but the roommates did a lot of it. All and all, I think we got 2 feet of snow. I don't think the roommates are very happy with me because they did so much more shoveling than me (I did still have my share to do) but honestly, I don't think they did that much more than me (they had help clearing the front of the driveway with the people upstairs) and they didn't have to do it. It was still snowing when they finished, and I had just not been in a hurry to start. It's not my fault that they felt an urgency to get it done, even though Jamie didn't even use her car yesterday.
I bought a pomegranate yesterday. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Other than that every muscle in my body hurts.
I did try to get into work today, but the roads are in an awful state. Everything is plowed, but not salted. I figured the local roads would be bad, but when I got to Mass Ave and found the same conditions, I knew it was time to turn back. And wouldn't you know it, my car got stuck as I tried to turn onto my street, and two people had to help me push it out. It's nice to be safe inside and not on the roads, where I'm likely to hurt myself or someone else.
Otherwise, nothing too exciting. I've been thinking a lot about happiness and whether I'm truly happy. It's occurred to me that I measure happiness not based on how much money or things or friends I have or how much time I spend volunteering or doing frat stuff or playing poker or attending hockey games or skiing or reading or... you get the idea. Yes, those things bring momentary joy and put a smile on my face. But that's not happy. And yes, there are things that bring me down - work or bills or fights with friends. But that's not unhappy, either. Happy is when I'm by myself, with nothing to do, with no distractions and I don't want to cry. When I can smile about nothing. When I can wake up, get out of bad, and not have my brain screaming at me about something or another. When I can look at my face in the mirror and not want to close my eyes again, because I'm so sad at what I've become. Happiness is peace with myself. And on this worst day of the year, this is what I will be striving from now on. By myself, because I'm the only one who can do it.
All right, back to "work."
- Lizzardie, at 11:34 AM
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