Wednesday, January 19, 2005
I found a birthday card a few weeks ago. Not one for me, but one I had bought and written out for someone else, several years ago. Obviously I never delivered it, and at some point stuck it in a book. When I went to read that book is when I found the card.
When things like this happen, I think about fate. I don't know that I necessarily believe in it, but my mind can't help but wonder. Did this happen for a reason? Is there something about this moment (in a broad sense, of course), right now, that made me find the card? I mean, I feel at peace with the intended recipient of the card, so I have yet to figure out what it means. Maybe nothing, but I can't help but wonder - does everything really happen for a reason?
Some days, I don't feel like today is better than yesterday, a month ago, 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago, 5 years ago.... some days I feel like nothing's changed, that I'm still struggling to get free and figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life. Some days I feel like I've made terrible decisions and that I'll never be able to fix them. I wish today wasn't one of those days.
- Lizzardie, at 9:50 PM
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