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I should not be awake right now. I don't even know why I am, other than that I was pretty upset earlier, which caused me to go on a cleaning rampage in my room. At least my room looks a little nicer now, which will make it easier for me to move furniture in after this weekend (yay for bookcases, because I desperately need them).
Tonight was not so fun for me. It started out and ended, really, like many nights here do. Nothing out of the ordinary. Jeff came home, Kristen was with him, we ordered food, we watched a movie, Herb came home, Rebecca was with him, yadda yadda yadda. All normal stuff.
Except while Jeff was out picking up the food, I was talking to Kristen about the whole living situation, and she asked me a question that hit on exactly why parts of living here are not entirely comfortable for me. This meant that something that I've been thinking about under the surface for the past 2 weeks that I've lived here was brought to the surface, which has made the night difficult. At least for tonight, I could no longer pretend it didn't bother me. And while I like Kristen and I am not in any way upset with her because she was able to figure it out, I am somewhat irked that I was so easy to read. Definitely not a good sign. What if other people are picking up on it, too? That would not be good for anyone close to the situation at all.
On top of that, I'm somewhat annoyed with both Jeff and Herb about the whole chores situation. A friend of theirs is staying here for a few days starting next week, which I am totally okay with. And I totally understand the desire to want the apartment to look presentable when she arrives. I am not okay with the fact that Herb is going to come up with a list of chores that needs to be done and divide them up. I feel like this is something that should be a group decision between the three of us. Of course, it would take a long time to do that, but still, how hard could that be. Me being bothered by this probably stems from the fact that when I'm not somewhat in charge of the apartment, I don't feel like I belong there, since I don't like being told what to do. I feel like I'm being treated like I'm 12 years old in situations like this. Of course, I'm also bothered because by the time Herb comes up with this list, I'll have less than 24 hours to get my part done, since I won't really have time when I get back. And I also still have to figure out a wedding present, which Herb is also making more difficult than it needs to be.
There are really 2 big things that bother me about living here. One I danced around a few paragraphs ago. The other is that everything is so much more complicated with Herb and Jeff than it needs to be. I'm a simple girl; I like simple things. I do things in a simple and efficient manner. That's how I make decisions. I'm easy to please. They've somehow managed to make my simplicity a matter of complication, too, though! Jeff comes home everyday and asks me what I want to do about dinner. Everyday I tell him that I don't know or I don't care. If I did know, I'd tell him, but usually, my plan is to find some food for myself when I get hungry. And if I have a preference, I'll state it, but typically, I'm most happy if everyone else is happy with food. I think this comes from years of eating with vegetarians and picky eaters, when I'll eat just about anything (olives, Spaghetti O's and bbq chicken are the only exceptions I can ever think of - and I don't like spicy food, most beers, cheap liquor, tequila, diet soda or Pepsi). I want to hear everyone else's preferences, and then I can work within that usually. The same goes for choosing a movie or anything to do. If there's something I really want to see or don't want to see, or anything I really want to do or don't want to do, I'll do it. Most likely if it's in the "want" category, I won't wait for others to do it with me, and will instead tackle it on my own. This is not hard to understand. But my roommates don't seem to understand this. They also don't seem to understand why I don't like video games and why I can't remember every line of every movie, song, TV show or commercial that I've ever seen, not to mention that I haven't seen as many movies or TV shows as they have, but that's beside the point. I think the point is more that they drive me crazy sometimes.
But everyone has some sort of problem with their roommates sometimes, right? I guess I'll just have to deal with living with these idiotic boys - at least for now. I should mention that in general, they are nice and sweet and easy-going, but sometimes, I want to kill them. Like tonight. But tomorrow is a new day - at least I hope so.
- Lizzardie, at 2:59 AM
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