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I thought I was doing better, but now I realize that I'm not. Argh. I got my car fixed and headed to Boston to spend the weekend with Herb's family and friends for his birthday. I thought it would be a lot of fun, and parts of it have been pretty good. But I've really felt out of place all weekend long and like I've been kinda thrown off to the side. I also feel very uncomfortable, and I hate that feeling. And now I've been given a peanut butter sandwich and left alone. Honestly, this is the worst treatment I've ever gotten in this apartment, and it really pisses me off. Not necessarily because of the treatment, but because of the circumstances that have changed to make it this way. I could sit by myself at home, and that's not the least of it. I managed to drop $20 on the ground today and watched it blow away, because as I usually feel, no one pays attention to me enough to listen to what I'm saying, and then they didn't believe me. Right now, I seriously wish I was in Ithaca. Not because I like Ithaca better, mind you, I still want to move here. But because right now my home is in Ithaca and I want to be home. And I only sorta blame Herb - it is his birthday weekend, after all. I don't want to make it about me, me, me. But I did come here to see him, and, well.... I don't know. I just don't want to be in this apartment right now.
- Lizzardie, at 2:12 AM
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