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Countdown: 5 days in CT, 1 day at PB (and no more Wednesdays!).
I wrote my stupid job summary today. I'm going to try and avoid showing it to my supervisor during my evaluation, though. I feel bad about saying I hated working here, especially because he'll probably tell me that I did a good job. Argh. I was going to lie on it, but I have trouble lying when I'm typing. My fingers just won't let me. I think it's partly because I like my writing to sound good and eloquent and I want it to flow nicely, and I just can't make it happening when what I'm saying isn't true. Writing is such an emotional thing, no matter what you're writing about - it's like immortalizing a part of yourself at a particular instance of time. You can't help but put something of yourself in what you write - and yes, the same is true of what you say, but when you say something, no one ever remembers exactly what words you said in what order - when you write something, it's there to be looked at again and again and again....see what I mean? I'm trying to write about why I don't want to show my job summary to my supervisor and I go off on this introspective tangent about writing. Argh.
I'm going to attempt to write about something, but we'll see how it goes. So...for the past year and a half, Jaclyn, Betsy and I have been trying to start this organization to increase voter awareness on campus - completely non-partisan, blah, blah, blah. It's more Jaclyn and Betsy's project not mine - I was sort of roped in but now am kind of excited about it as well. The thing is Betsy and Jaclyn are driving me up a wall and they don't realize it (this is why I'm not sure if this is a good idea to write about - my track record on writing about other people here is not so good, but I know that neither Jaclyn nor Betsy ever read this thing...at least I think I know that....). I'm caught in the middle of a dispute of theirs and I'm not sure what to do. I always end up being the middleman (I've decided that I'm either really good at being the middleman or I really suck at it because that ends up being my role ALL THE TIME - it's vicious cycle that I can't seem to free myself from). I don't mind being the middleman, but I kind of don't understand why it has to be this way. Neither of them has any problem saying how they're feeling to me, so why can't they tell each other? It's like it's my job to lessen the blow. They don't to jeopardize their friendship, so they have me relay information to the other and vent at the same time. Neither can see why the other is upset - maybe they use me because I'm a neutral party but really I'm not. I don't know. So now I have to sort out information and basically play counselor so they don't kill each other. Argh. What a day this is going to be....
- Lizzardie, at 10:48 AM
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