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Countdown: 32 days in CT, 14 days at PB.
"You have always made an impression, you just never knew you did." My aunt said this to me yesterday, which is not surprising (she's my biggest fan). =) What is surprising, I think, is that just about everyone I've talked to the past couple days has said the same thing, they just didn't word it eloquently enough for me to quote. I am truly amazed at how lucky I am to have such great people in my life. I have a wonderful group of friends (and Brothers) who are constantly showing me why it is I keep them around. =) Not many people are fortunate enough to go away for a semester and come back with closer relationships than when they left. How I managed to strengthen those bonds of friendship from afar is beyond me. I'm so glad it happened, though.
Right before I started working at Pitney Bowes, someone told me that I had nothing to worry about because only the logistics of where I would be were changing - people would remember me, everyone will still be there when I come back, et cetera, et cetera (he of course phrased this much better, but I cannot remember the exact words). It made me feel better to hear that, but in those first few weeks, I was certain I had mage a gi-normous mistake. The job sucked and I was so lonely - and everyone at school was too busy to talk to me. The time before me seemed endless and I was so sad because I was certain I was wasting 5 months of my life, and the idea of letting that happen was unbearable.
Things got better, though. I went to visit my friends and I made peace with the issues that were troubling me. I became known for my weekend visits and for just showing up, unannounced. More IM windows started popping up on my computer and I started using more of my cell phone minutes. And no matter how many times I've visited, I still get told that I'm missed when I'm not there. Going back to Ithaca will in January will not be awkward, as I once feared it would be, because I have truly been embraced there by so many extraordinary people.
And now, just weeks before I head back, as the time in CT is winding down, I think I can say that my time here has not been wasted. Okay, okay - it wasn't fun most of the time. But life isn't always fun. But any time I can look back and say to myself, I'm a better person because this happened, I know whatever it was I did, it was worth it. So that piece of advice I got back in September? Well, I'm certainly glad to have been on the receiving end of it and it seems to hold a good deal of truth in it. I must say that logistics (location, etc...) don't seem to matter much - the change that matters is the change we bring about in ourselves.
I feel like crying now, but happy tears. Isn't this a refreshing change from the depressing posts of September? =)
- Lizzardie, at 9:39 AM
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